She sighed, a little wearily. “Vengeance is a preoccupation of man.”
“What do you think the spell that created you is, Rose?” Fionn asked casually, despite the telltale ticking of the muscle in his jaw. “Aine had her revenge on the human race for muddling up her perfect little world.”
“That wasn’t revenge. You said it yourself—it was wickedness. The boredom of immortality.”
“And what about Niamh?”
“What about Niamh?”
Fionn rubbed a hand over his jaw, the bristle of his stubble sounding loud in the cavernous space. Rose fought the urge to go over and touch him.
“I have reason to believe Niamh is my descendant.”
That announcement pulled Rose’s focus. “What?”
“There’s no evidence as Bran continues to remind me. Her name is Farren, which is the modern name for Ó Faracháin. That was my clan name. Her family dates back to a time when they were Ó Faracháin. They were also rumored to have connections to the mythical Rí Mac Tíre.”
Wow.
Now she understood his interaction with Niamh back in Munich. And why he said she had nothing to fear from him. Fionn wouldn’t kill someone of his own blood.
“I feel it in my gut, Rose. Niamh is my descendant. And it’s something Aine would do to me.” He curled his lip in bitterness. “Knowing I couldn’t raise a hand to my own. So no, revenge is not just the purview of humans.”
A subject Rose had been wary of pressing pushed at her, urging her to. Feeling brave, she said, “You said she made you her …” She couldn’t quite bring herself to say the word.
“Whore.” Fionn’s tone was brutally cold.
Rose nodded.
“Aye, she did.”
As she observed the large, powerful figure lounging on the couch, her entire being ached for him. “It’s difficult for anyone to feel powerless and used. To happen to someone who led armies … I’m sorry, Fionn.”
“Man, woman, child, poet, farmer, or king … it doesn’t matter who you are, Rose. It fucks with your mind all the same.”
“Have you ever spoken to anyone about it?”
“A therapist?” A cynical smirk ghosted his lips.
“No. A friend.”
He sighed. “There’s nothing to say. I made peace with that a long time ago.”
“Did you?” she pressed, dangerously. “You’re still willing to … I mean, you’re still going after revenge.”
“Not for that. Yes, the bitch violated me, and yes, it fucked with my mind that my body enjoyed it while my spirit fought not to crumble under self-hatred and fury. But why do you think she made me fae, Rose? Because she couldn’t fucking break me. She couldn’t twist me up inside and make me love her. Not romantic love. Not the love of mates. But the sycophantic love that she wanted from every one of her subjects.
“She pretended she liked the challenge of any being who stood up to her, but it wasn’t that. She liked breaking people.” His eyes were no longer dead. They blazed. “I wouldn’t give that to her. So she made me the thing I hated most. And because of it, I lost the people I loved most. That’s why I demand vengeance.”
Considering this, Rose felt a complex mix of emotions take over, nothing new when it came to her feelings for Fionn. She admired him for his strength, for the beauty of his spirit that refused to be broken by what amounted to sexual slavery. Yet, it frustrated the hell out of her that someone who could stay so true to himself during such a horrific time couldn’t see that he was now letting Aine win by giving up a second chance at happiness.
“You are not them. You are not her. You may be of the same species, but for Christ’s sake, Fionn, Martin Luther King Jr. and Adolf Hitler were too. They hardly belong in the same sentence together, though, do they? It’s not what you are that makes you ‘good’ or ‘bad.’ Your intentions and your actions define you, something someone as old as you should know by now.
“Do you think because I’m fae that I’m repulsive and wicked?”
“Rose.” His tone was a warning.
“Do you? Because I don’t think I am. I enjoy being powerful but not because I want to crush people beneath the might of it. I like the freedom in it. I like the magic. The possibilities. The world is so much different from what I expected. It’s ancient and yet new, mystical and even more mysterious than I ever imagined. And I’m a part of that now. Just like you.