A Kiss of Shadows - By Laurell K. Hamilton Page 0,65

face. “The queen did that once,” he said.

“What?” I asked, frowning.

“Made one of us strip and crawl over broken glass. If he made it without showing pain, then she’d fuck him.”

I blinked. I’d heard worse, hell, I’d seen worse. But part of me wanted to know who it was, so I asked, “Who was it?”

He shook his head. “We of the Guard have sworn to keep the humiliations among ourselves. Our pride, if not our bodies, survives the better for it.” His eyes looked lost again.

Again, I wondered what Cel could be doing that was worse than the queen’s games. “Why not make this offer to a more powerful sidhe woman who isn’t a member of the Prince’s Guard?” I asked.

He gave a faint smile. “There are women at court who are not members of the Prince’s Guard, Meredith. They would not touch me before I joined the Guard. They fear bringing more perverse creatures into the world.” He laughed, and it had a wild sound to it, almost like crying. It hurt to hear it. “That’s what the queen calls me, her ‘perverse creature’—sometimes, simply ‘creature.’ In a few centuries I will be like Frost and her Darkness. I will be her Creature.” He gave that painful laugh again. “I will risk much to keep that from happening.”

“Does she really need the sluagh’s backing that much, so much that she’d give up my death, give up punishing us for going against her strictest taboo?” I shook my head. “No, Sholto, she can’t let this stand. If we find a way around her celibacy taboo, then others will try. It will be like the first crack in a dam. Eventually it breaks.”

“She is losing control, Meredith, losing her hold on the court. These three years have not been good ones for her. The court is splitting under the weight of her erratic behavior, and Prince Cel’s growing . . .” He seemed at a loss for words, then finally said, “When he comes into power, Cel is going to make Andais look sane. It will be like Caligula after Tiberius.”

“Are you saying, if we think it’s bad now, we ain’t seen nothing yet?” I tried to make him smile, and failed.

He turned haunted eyes to me. “The queen cannot afford to lose the support of the sluagh. Trust me on this, Meredith, I have no desire to end up at the queen’s mercy, any more than you do.”

“The queen’s mercy” had become a saying among us; if you feared something, you said, “I’d rather be at the queen’s mercy than do that.” It meant that nothing scared you more.

“What do you want of me, Sholto?”

“I want you,” he said, his gaze very direct.

I had to smile. “You don’t want me, you want a sidhe in your bed. Remember that Griffin rejected me because I was not sidhe enough for him.”

“Griffin was a fool.”

I smiled, and it made me think of Uther’s words earlier that night, that Roane was a fool. If everyone was a fool for leaving me, why did they keep doing it? I looked at him and tried to be just as direct. “I’ve never been with a nightflyer.”

“It is considered perverted by those that consider nothing perverse,” Sholto said, and his voice was bitter. “I would not expect you to have experience with us.”

Us. An interesting pronoun. If you asked me what I was, I was sidhe, not human, not brownie. I was sidhe, and if you pushed me, I was Unseelie, for better or worse, even though I could claim the blood of both courts. But I would never have said “us” when speaking of anything but Unseelie sidhe.

“After my aunt, our beloved queen, tried to drown me when I was six, Father made sure I had my own sidhe bodyguards. One of them was a crippled nightflyer, Bhatar.”

Sholto nodded. “He lost a wing in the last real battle we fought on American soil. We can grow back most of our body parts, so it was a grave wound.”

“Bhatar stayed in my room at night. He never left my side when I was a child. Father taught me chess, but Bhatar taught me how to beat Father.” It made me smile.

“He still speaks well of you,” Sholto said.

I started to ask, then shook my head. “No, he would never have suggested that you do this. He would never have risked my safety, or yours. You see, he spoke well of you, too, King Sholto. The best