Kiss To Forget (Blairwood University #2) - Anna B. Doe Page 0,78
like I can hear it in his. I can’t even imagine how they must feel. Knowing, living, with a parent who is slowly dying right in front of your eyes.
I’m not sure Nixon even notices how he closes off at the mere mention of going home. It’s as if subconsciously he always wonders if this will be it. The last time he’ll see his mom. Will he even make it in time to say goodbye.
“And your mom?”
“She’s doing her best to cover it up, pretending it’s all normal, but I can hear how tired she is. Jade says she’s been sleeping more, eating less. She doesn’t even protest when Jade or one of the nurses helps her upstairs. The nurses have suggested we turn one of the downstairs rooms into a bedroom for when…”
He gulps, his voice drifting off.
For when she can no longer climb the stairs by herself, my mind supplies the words he can’t say himself.
I tighten my grip around his middle, offering him silent support. We fall silent for a while, each one lost to our own thoughts.
“You should tell somebody.”
Nixon shifts, looking down at me. “I’m telling you now, aren’t I?”
“It’s not the same, and you know it.”
I turn to my stomach, propping my chin on my hands to look at him.
“They wouldn’t understand. Hayden’s mom left him when shit got tough, Zane’s mom is a druggie, and Maddox… His parents are difficult in their own way.”
“You don’t need them to understand. You need them to listen.”
“Maybe,” he says.
I can see him pulling away. I could try to pressure him, but I decide to give in, for now.
“I wish you could come.”
“Me?” My brows furrow in confusion. “What for?”
He looks away, shrugging. “I don’t remember the last time I heard them laugh. Not like the day you were there.”
His words are like a punch to my gut.
“I—” I start, but I’m at a loss for words. What do you say to something like that? I want to help, I want to ease the pain he’s feeling, but to go to his house when they’re already dealing with so much?
Nixon presses his finger against my lips. “You don’t have to say anything. I know you’re busy with your own things. It’s okay. It was just a silly idea.”
Wrapping my fingers against his wrist, I move it away so I can cup his cheek. My finger swipes over his skin, feeling the rough stubble under my touch. “I wish I could come.”
And it’s the truth. A truth that, just a few months ago, I wouldn’t have thought possible. But I want this for him, for them.
Nixon turns to the side, placing a kiss in the middle of my palm. “Me too. But we both know wishing is futile. All we have is right here, right now. And we can only do the best we can with the time we have.”
I look out the window. The night is clear, and a dozen little twinkling lights are illuminating the sky.
“Have you ever wished on a shooting star?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“There is no power in wishing on shattered dreams falling off the sky.”
Silence settles over the room. It seems louder than any words. Maybe because Nixon’s still echo inside me.
Our eyes meet, gazes hold.
“So what do you want to do now?”
His fingers tangle in my hair, eyes falling to my lips. “I want to forget.”
So I let him. Leaning forward, I kiss him like the only thing we have is right now. Because deep down, I know it’s true.
Chapter Twenty-Six
NIXON
“You brought me to the beach.”
I turn to the side, catching a soft smile spreading over Mom’s lips at the sight of the ocean in the distance. She’s nestled in the passenger seat, a thick sweater and a blanket covering her. The heating is also turned to max, all the vents pointing in her direction. The car feels like a sauna, but she’s been feeling colder than usual.
Mom catches my gaze, her smile widening.
“Don’t even think about going wild and swimming,” I joke, my own mouth tipping in a grin as I return my attention to the road ahead.
It’s bittersweet, coming here. The beach has been one of our favorite places in the world. We’d come here every chance we could; it was our thing, something we did as a family.
Not that we have much of that left.
“Oh, I don’t know about that. I was just thinking about how refreshing it would be to jump in for a quick swim.”