Kiss To Forget (Blairwood University #2) - Anna B. Doe Page 0,101
full, but instead of soaking inside it, there is only a shadow floating underneath the surface.
“Jade!”
My scream echoes inside the bathroom walls. I rush forward, falling down to my knees next to the tub. I reach inside, wrapping my arms around Jade’s limp body and pulling her out.
She has to be okay. God, please don’t let her die. I don’t think I can take one more loss. Please… just, please…
A sharp inhale startles me, and it takes me a moment to realize it’s Jade. Jade breathing.
She’s alive.
“Jade? Are you okay?”
Ignoring her nakedness, I pull her all the way out and onto the floor. The rug underneath us is soaked with water, but neither of us cares.
She’s alive.
I pull a towel off the rack and wrap it around Jade’s shaking body as she coughs loudly, getting the water out of her lungs.
Wrapping my arms tightly around her, I pull her in for a hug. My whole body is shaking with suppressed adrenaline, making it hard to concentrate, but one thought echoes in my mind over and over.
She’s good.
She’s good, and she’s breathing.
She’s good.
Pulling back, I cup her cheek and lift her head so I can see her face. Her eyes are red-rimmed, from tears or from being underwater, I’m not sure. The blue of her irises is completely dull and lifeless. “What the hell were you doing?” I ask, shaking her shoulder. “What were you thinking?”
“I needed it to stop!” Jade shakes her head, tears or water falling down her cheeks as she covers her ears with her hands. “I just want it to stop.”
“Needed what to stop?”
“This pain.” She presses her hands against her chest. “I needed this pain to go away. I needed to erase the sound of her heart stopping, and this was the only thing that worked!”
“You could have died!” I protest, shaking her harder. Tears that I’ve been holding at bay all day—hell, for months—finally break free. “You could have drowned,” I repeat louder.
Doesn’t she get it? How could she do something like this? How could she let something like this happen?
Jade tries to push me back, but I’m not budging. “If that’ll make it go away so be it!” she yells loudly.
I flinch back, not believing her words. She must feel the same because her eyes grow wide, lip trembling, as her words set in.
“You can’t say shit like that, Jade. You can’t...” I shake my head and close my eyes. More tears slide down. My throat bobs as I swallow the lump that formed in my throat. Wiping my nose with the back of my hand, I look at her. “I know it’s hard. I know it hurts. I hurt too, but you can’t do things like that. You can’t…”
Die, I finish silently.
“Nix…”
You can’t die because why the hell should I continue living then?
“C’mon.” I help her up to her feet, making sure the towel is wrapped tightly around her. “You need to get dry and put on some clothes.” Kissing the top of her head, I push her toward the door. “Go, I’ll clean up.”
Once she’s out, I bend down and take the plug out of the bathtub. Straightening, I watch all the water flow down the drain.
She could have died. Right here, right now. In her childhood room.
She. Could. Have. Died.
Running my fingers through my hair, I tug hard at the strands. My head falls back as more tears cloud my vision.
How did I not see it? How did I miss the signs? What else did I miss?
Kicking one of the wet towels with my leg, I scream silently, not wanting her to hear me. Only when the worst of the anger is out of the way, do I exhale slowly.
Jade first.
I grab some towels and throw them onto the floor to mop up the rest of the water that spilled when I dug into the tub to grab her.
She could have died.
Those words ring in my mind as I straighten the room, giving Jade time to put some clothes on. My eyes scan the space looking for… something.
Shaking my head, I turn around and go back into the bedroom.
By now, Jade is in her pajamas, sitting in the middle of her bed. She looks so small, so young, so lost.
Bracing myself, I go to her and sit at the edge of the bed. Taking one of her hands in mine, I trace the line on her palm.