“You think you’ve got it so bad, Dom, and you have no fucking idea. How about this? Frankie got arrested yesterday. He’s in jail as we speak. The Feds say they got him on credit card fraud and money laundering, and if they got him, then that means I’m next.”
I don’t even have a response to that one. I can’t imagine what it’d be like if my dad got put away. I couldn’t manage. I had no clue any of this was going on because I haven’t been around. I’ve been trying to spend all my time with Alannah before she leaves, and The Family’s been taking a hit, and Frankie’s in jail. This is too much on one kid’s plate.
“The point I’m trying to make, Dominic, is that if you’re gonna be a part of Our Thing, you’re gonna have to get your priorities straight. If there ever comes a time that you get to be a made guy, you’re gonna have to take an oath, and pledge to put this family above everything else. Above everybody else. The Giordano Family isn’t one of these huge families in New York. We’re small out here in St. Louis, so we need loyal guys who know and follow the rules put in place by Anthony Giordano way back in the day. We have to keep the tradition going, and if Leo ends up making you the way he made me, you’re gonna carry the burden of keeping this family alive. Nothing comes before La Cosa Nostra. Nothing. We’re too small of a family to be getting heat from the Feds that can put guys away like this. The Commission is gonna open the books one day, and when they do, I want you there, Dominic. But you gotta earn it, and you’re not gonna do that if you’re stressing out over some girl. You understand?”
I pause so I can really think about my answer. Do I really understand? Do I understand that I’m going to have to put La Cosa Nostra before important people in my life? Do I accept that The Family has to come first? Am I willing to put The Family before Alannah? I’m not really sure, but I need to reassure my dad. Me being a part of This Thing of Ours is really important to him, which means it’s important to me. So, even though I’m figuring out how I feel about certain things, there’s no question about how I feel about my father. I’m loyal to him, no matter what.
“Yeah, Dad, I understand. I’m sorry,” I reply. “I’ll do better.”
Dad takes his eyes off the road to make eye contact with me, his jaw tight and his eyes narrow. “Good.”
It’s been a fucking struggle. Everything going on with Alannah has taken the wind out of my sails. She’s all I think about. Well, the fact that she’s leaving is all I think about. After all we’ve been through, right from the moment we met on the playground at Barry Elementary, after all of the feelings, after all the friendship, after giving our virginity to one another, it’s going to come to an end. The truth is, I’m struggling. Between what I need to be doing with my father and what I want to do with Alannah, I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. I want to be just like my dad, but I want to be with Alannah, too. Regardless of what I want, though, Alannah’s leaving, so I guess the decision is being made for me. I just hate the fucking decision.
Dad drives slow, like always. He’s never in a rush to get anywhere. Business at River City isn’t going anywhere, and now that Frankie has been arrested, The Family is going to be losing money. Frankie was a good earner and sure to be getting upped soon, so his being arrested will definitely have an impact on us, and just like Dad said, the last thing we need is for the FBI to start coming after Dad, too. Looks like a change is coming.
We turn onto River City Casino Boulevard and approach the last stoplight on the road leading to the casino. As we drive, Dad looks to me.
“Listen, we’re only gonna stay here a couple of minutes, alright,” he says. “I’m gonna go make sure everything is good to go, then we’re out. With all this heat getting started, I don’t wanna