doing, but the concoction of emotions flooding my body drown out any thoughts of this being wrong. I only think of Dominic.
I use both of my hands to pull Dominic over to me, and even as he struggles to get over the shifter and my seat clumsily falls back into a lying position when I pull the handle, I don’t care, because I want him on top of me. I want to do things with him I wouldn’t dare think of doing with anyone else. I don’t think to stop when he starts to pull my dress up to my waist, or when his fingers start to touch me over the top of my panties. No, I don’t think to stop, I only surge forward, my skin on fire with sensitivity I never knew.
I push his pants down, he slides my panties off, but I never want to stop.
Who would I rather lose my virginity to? Marcus Smart? Bobby Pistone? Of course not. There isn’t a person in the world I’d rather lose my virginity to than Dominic Collazo. So, when he slides himself inside me, I ignore the burning sensation and the pain of it all, because he makes it worth it. He takes his time with me, going just as slow as I need him to, and even though neither of us really knows what we’re doing, something about it feels right. It feels like love, like this is what we’re supposed to do.
We Belong Together.
It’s a beautiful pain, and although it barely becomes pleasurable physically, I love it because it’s with him, and it feels right in my mind. We’re each other’s first. We’re going through it together like we were always meant to, and I love that.
I love him.
We manage to fit ourselves together in the passenger seat of the Mercedes, our bodies intertwining with one of his arms under me, and the other across my chest. The windows were fogged, so we let them down so the breeze could sweep over us as we look out at the stars.
I lay on Dominic’s shoulder thinking about why it took so long for us to admit our feelings to each other, and how excited I am now that we have. I think about what it’s going to be like for us now that we’re finally a couple. The thought of us walking through the halls in school with everybody staring at us doesn’t make me uncomfortable, it makes me smile. We’ll be like Bonnie and Clyde. That’s probably what they’ll call us behind our backs, but nobody would dare say it to our faces. We’ll be a power couple forever, still going strong all the way up to graduation.
That’s when it hits me.
Now that the passion-induced haze has been lifted, my brain finally starts to do its job again, and I remember what I was supposed to tell Dominic. The words hit me like a ton of bricks to the chest, especially after what we just did and how much it meant. It’s unbearable to think about it and the tears make a comeback. The first one slides down my right cheek, but the second goes down the left and lands on Dominic’s arm, drawing his attention.
“Hey, what’s the matter?” he asks, probably confused by the sudden tears.
“There’s something I forgot,” I begin. “I got distracted by everything that was going on, and I forgot the whole reason I needed to talk to you tonight. There’s something I need to tell you, Dominic.”
He sits up and angles his body to look me in the eye, which just makes it that much harder.
“Dominic, I’m moving,” I blurt out, as I lose all control and the tears roll out in bunches. I can’t believe I’m saying it, and I still can’t accept that it’s actually going to happen.
Dominic still looks confused.
“What? What are you talking about?”
“I’m moving. My dad got orders to Alaska and we have to move.”
“Are you serious right now?”
“Do I look like I’m kidding? I wouldn’t joke about this, especially after what just happened. I’ve been meaning to tell you, but you haven’t been at school, and you weren’t calling me back because you were in the hospital.”
Dominic looks like his world just collapsed on top of him and he can no longer breathe.
“What the fuck, Alannah?” he snaps. “When is this supposed to happen?”
I somehow manage to cry harder when I start to say the answer.
“The military needed to fill a vacant position in Anchorage,