Kingdom of Sea and Stone (Crown of Coral and Pearl #2) - Mara Rutherford Page 0,63
my mouth in warning, and I pressed my lips closed.
“Look, Nor. I know you think you have to be the brave one all the time, that you’re the leader and I follow. That you have to be everything for me. And it’s my fault more than anyone’s. But there was one good thing that came from you leaving.” She took my hands in hers. “I learned I can be brave, too.”
I shook my head. “I know. I’ve always known.”
“Yes,” she said, her golden-brown eyes welling with tears. “But I didn’t. And I would sooner die than let you leave without me again.”
I bit my lower lip to keep it from trembling. “I’m so sorry, Zadie.”
“After you left, things in Varenia were bad. Worse than I’ve let on. I had told myself that I’d done what I’d done not just so I could be with Sami, but also so that you could go to Ilara and live the life you dreamed of. I couldn’t think of another way. And I’ve never forgiven myself for asking you to help me that night.”
“I have never held it against you. I know you thought it was your only option.”
“But I struggled with the guilt, with my own selfishness. I told Sami everything, and he said he understood, but I don’t know if he did. I think a part of him would have found it nobler if I had gone to Ilara anyway, despite the fact that he loved me. I dishonored myself by lying and allowing you to take my punishment, and I don’t know that he’ll ever see me the same way as he did before.”
“That’s not fair,” I said, my anger growing on her behalf. “It’s not like he was doing anything to help!”
“He has guilt of his own, believe me. That’s why he tried to convince his father and the elders of your innocence after he saw you in the port market. He risked his standing in the community for both of us, and it cost him everything.” She looked away. “He isn’t the same since the banishment, Nor. It took something from him.”
We sat in silence for a few minutes. “What happened out there on the ocean?” I asked gently.
She shook her head. “I don’t know exactly. He doesn’t like to talk about those three nights at sea. He was able to create a makeshift paddle from the benches on the boat and row to shore on the fourth day. But I don’t think it was being at sea that traumatized him; it was the kidnapping, the way people he had known his entire life turned on him. He never wants to go back to Varenia. I don’t, either. Once we free our parents, we plan to go somewhere else to settle. I can’t look those people in the eyes anymore.”
Questions I couldn’t bear to consider popped into my mind without warning. Were those people still alive? Was there even a Varenia left to go back to? “I understand, Zadie.”
I wiped her tears away with my thumbs before they could fall, and she did the same to me. After a minute, she sniffed and set her chin.
“In conclusion, while I appreciate your speech, and I know it’s coming from a place of love, kindly shut up on the subject of this journey.”
I blinked in shock. “Wh-what?”
She rose and brushed the grass from her skirts. “I don’t want to hear about it again. Sami and I are in complete agreement on this, so don’t think going to him behind my back will help. His parents are in just as much peril as ours.”
“I know that,” I said, still reeling as I climbed to my feet. “And I know that you’re brave, Zadie. But selfishly, I want to keep you safe. I couldn’t bear losing you again.”
“And you think I can?”
I shook my head, unable to speak.
“We came into this world together, Nor. And that’s the only way I plan on going out. Do you understand me?”
I nodded. “Yes.”
“Good.” She pulled me to her, and for the first time in my life, she didn’t feel small in my arms. It wasn’t my job to protect her anymore. We would protect each other.
19
“Come with us,” I pleaded as Adriel helped gather my belongings from her cottage. “Please.”
She glanced at me over her shoulder. “I would only slow you down. I’m not a natural horsewoman, Nor.”
“We’re not going to travel fast. And your knowledge would be invaluable on the road if anyone gets sick