huff of impatience. “Besides, the sooner I’m marked to be queen of another kingdom, the sooner Finnegan will realize that I do not intend to usurp him.”
“I do not think he thinks you plan to overthrow him,” Aurora said carefully. “But he thinks people would prefer you as queen.”
“Finnegan is ridiculous,” Erin said, and for the first time, her voice was harsh. “He is the elder sibling; he is next in line to the throne. That is how it works. Maybe if he allowed people to see his serious side occasionally, he would not worry about this so much.” She stopped and looked at Aurora again. Then she blushed. “I should not have said that,” she said. “It does not matter. He is next in line to the throne. My mother may get irritated with him, but that changes nothing.”
Erin’s cheeks were still red, the first hint of awkwardness Aurora had ever seen in her. But even her blush looked lovely somehow. She looked like someone who was meant to rule. “Would you want to be queen?”
“If it was my right,” Erin said. “But if I were queen of Vanhelm, that would mean Finnegan was either dead or disinherited. I would not wish for either. And . . . well. Queenship never seems to end well in the histories, does it?”
“It seems to work for your mother.”
“Perhaps,” Erin said. “But I am not like my mother.”
Aurora could not entirely agree. “Do you think you would make a good queen?”
Erin raised her chin. “I do.”
“I do too.”
“You barely know me,” Erin said. “And surely your loyalties should be with Finnegan. Or do you have other hopes for him?”
“Other hopes?”
Erin tilted her head, still watching her. Aurora could see Finnegan in her, in the curve of her lips and the green of her eyes. They were the exact same shade, and shone with the same understanding. Erin’s expression was much softer, though, with some of the steel of her mother. “I’m sorry,” she said. “That was presumptuous of me.” She glanced at the door. “Thank you for letting me intrude. I’ll leave you to your day.”
When Erin had gone, Aurora turned back to her slightly dented candle. But Erin’s comment lingered. Did she not want him to be king? She wanted Finnegan to be happy, yes; she had assumed that he would be king, but the idea of him not inheriting the throne held an appeal that she had not acknowledged before. She enjoyed flirting with Finnegan the irreverent prince, the one who schemed and dreamed and shoved rules aside, but a king would be very different. So weighed down by responsibility, so concerned with things other than himself. His actions dictated by the diplomatic needs of the kingdom. Prince Finnegan was appealing, but King Finnegan . . .
It shouldn’t matter what Finnegan’s future held. They had a temporary alliance; that was all. But this thought of a different future unsettled her. There was a part of her, a voice that she fought to ignore, that wanted Finnegan to be hers. That wanted all other responsibilities, all other allegiances, to disappear.
She wanted Finnegan to be part of her future, not his own. And that thought worried her most of all.
SEVENTEEN
“IT MUST BE AMAZING,” FINNEGAN SAID, AS THEY ATE dinner that evening.
Aurora looked across the table at him. She had been so lost in thought that she barely heard him speak. “What must be amazing?”
“Whatever you’re thinking of. It’s distracted you for the last half an hour at least.”
She could not stop thinking of Erin’s words, of this new insight into herself. She wished she could ask Nettle for her thoughts. Nettle would be clear, and she would not judge. She pushed a piece of fish across her plate with her fork. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I guess I miss Nettle. I hope she’s doing all right.”
“She’ll be fine, Rora. She’s an expert at this stuff.” He laid down his knife. “Now tell me what’s really bothering you. Did Celestine threaten you again?”
“No,” Aurora said. “Not that.” But she couldn’t tell him the real reason for her distraction, and she wasn’t certain that she should mention Tristan, either. She could not know how he would respond. “Some men cornered me in the city today,” she said instead. “They wanted to capture me, trade me in for King John’s reward. But I’m fine. I just didn’t expect his men to find me so soon.”