and gave me a warm smile. “We get one life, Nicco. Love, family, and good food, what else is there?”
“The other stuff... it doesn’t bother you?”
“Of course it does, but I made my choice. Just like Arianne has made hers.” Her eyes twinkled with love. “Life is short. Too short to live with regrets.” She disappeared into the hall, leaving me with my thoughts.
Taking her advice, I grabbed a beer from the refrigerator and went up to my room. I’d taken the smallest guest room, not wanting to be a burden. It also afforded me my own bathroom and no neighbors.
My cell was flashing, planting a seed of hope in my chest. But it was quickly dashed when I saw Enzo’s name.
“Hey,” he said. “I’ve been trying to get a hold of you.”
“I was helping Aunt Maria.”
“You’re turning into a domesticated pussy.”
“Fuck off. They were good enough to take me in, the least I could do is help out. What’s up?”
“I was just calling to see how you are...” He let the words hang.
“You mean you’re calling to check up on me.” Irritation rippled through me.
“Uncle Toni is worried; we all are.”
“I’m here, aren’t I?” I gritted out.
“Yeah, and it’s the right thing to do,” he hesitated, “I just thought that with it being the party and all, you might...”
“You thought I’d do something stupid like get on my bike and turn up there?”
The thought had crossed my mind. In fact, I’d thought of nothing else all week.
“You need to stay away and let us handle it. Promise me, Cous.”
“What would you do? Tell me what you’d do if it was the girl you loved?”
He snorted. “Un-fucking-likely.”
“You’ll meet her. One day you’ll meet the girl who puts you on your ass and I’ll be there to watch, loving every second.” The words came out bitter. Enzo didn’t get it. Just like his old man didn’t get it. It was foolish to think otherwise.
“I didn’t call to fight, Nicco.” He let out a small sigh. “I called because I’m concerned. I know it’s hard on you. But Uncle Toni, my dad, and Michele are trying to figure out the best course of action.”
“That doesn’t involve taking out Mike Fascini?” Bitterness clung to my words.
“You’re still pissed over that?”
“I’m pissed that you still don’t have my back.” I was picking a fight, but I couldn’t help myself. I needed the outlet. I needed to get all this shit off my chest and Enzo was the unlucky bastard who was my verbal punching bag.
“That’s bullshit and you know it. I have your back. I’ve always had your fucking back.” He spat the words. “But since she came along you can’t see straight. The Family comes first. Some piece of ass doesn’t change that.”
“I didn’t ask for this, you know. I didn’t go out looking for her. She barged into my life and knocked me on my ass before I even knew what was happening. You think I don’t know she complicates everything? You think I don’t ask myself every day if it would be easier for the both of us to just let her go?” My voice rose, my chest heaving with the weight of the words.
“Nic, that’s not—”
“Loving her is killing me, E. It’s fucking killing me. But not loving her, trying to walk away... there’ll be nothing left of me to give.” I drew in a shaky breath, feeling the weight of my words—the weight of being separated from Arianne—push down on my chest. “She’s inside me, man. And I know you don’t get it. I know there are so many layers of ice around your heart that you can’t put yourself in my shoes and understand... but if I lose Arianne, if we can’t find a way to make this work... you might as well drive out here and put a bullet between my eyes. Because she is it for me. There is no life without her. It’s that simple.”
Silence hung between us. “Fuck, Nicco.”
“Yeah,” I breathed. “One day you’ll understand.”
“I wouldn’t bet on that. But I’m beginning to get it. I don’t understand, maybe I never will. But I get it. I just don’t want you to do something you can’t come back from. You have to trust your father to get the job done.”
“And if he doesn’t?” A violent shiver ripped through me.
“He will. He knows what’s at stake, maybe better than anyone.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“He lost your mom. I know things between them weren’t always easy,