stop on your Internet rounds, and some of you have made this your home. I’m so grateful for this amazing community and for what you’ve all given me over the years in laughs and friendship. It’s time for me to close this chapter on my life and begin another.
You may be asking why I don’t just hand over the reins to the website to someone who could run it in my stead. That’s a valid question, and one I would have considered if my motives were simply to move on. You may be thinking that something negative happened with Adam or the band to make me want to abandon them, but don’t go there. Adam has been incredible, and I’m going to encourage him to find you guys wherever you might go and continue to interact. I will always love the band. It’s just that Adam and the band aren’t the center of my world. And they haven’t been for a very long time. Too long.
Trust me. This is about me and my need to cut this habit cold turkey. If you hate me for doing this, so be it. I hope that you will understand though and continue to count me among your friends.
Where do we go from here? I’m sure any one of you could spin up your own website if you wanted to go that route. You could make a group on Facebook as well. Hit up DeadFan (Ash) as she might have some ideas. If anyone is worthy of picking up the Fearless Leader moniker, it would be her. She’s been my rock for the past few weeks as I transitioned to my new job.
Best wishes!
Pumpkin39
Ash had written something similar and pointed to the blog for more info. We both hit Submit and stared at each other in disbelief. She made a nuclear explosion with her hands and laughed. “This is kind of awesome.”
“I think I might throw up.” What was I doing? I pressed my hands to my face, wondering if I’d made a terrible mistake. I hit refresh and saw comments flooding in on the blog.
So sorry to see the site go, but you’ve been doing this for a long time, and it’s been obvious for a while that you haven’t been as engaged as you once were. I think this move has been a long time coming. I wish you the best of luck in everything. You were the shit, Pumpkin.
I posted a thank you and read the next comment.
Is this because you’re friends with the band now? You said you’re not mad at them, but is there some conflict of interest thing where they’re afraid you might let state secrets slip or people might no longer see you as an impartial fan?
I hit reply.
Honestly, this has nothing to do with the band. They told me they love the site. I’m not exactly friends with the band. I’m just lucky enough to have gotten to know them a bit more.
More comments came in. Mostly supportive. Some were angry at the short notice. Soon, they were no longer directed at me. Instead, they began talking about what to do. The same was going on in the forum. Fans making plans to move their campsite to another location. That’s when I knew we could leave them to it.
As we waited for midnight, we sat on Zion’s sofa watching entertainment news and speculating about the fallout. I started to have serious second thoughts about bringing down the board, but I reminded myself I wasn’t wiping the site out of existence. It would still be there in code and data, at least for now. For all intents and purposes, it would be gone. Nobody would be able to login. Nobody would be able to share pictures or videos. Nobody would be able to read my old reviews and leave nasty comments. Nobody would be able to private message me.
Speaking of my private messages: Oh, my God.
I logged into the forum one last time and opened the queue. There were so many messages. At first they had varying subject headers, but around ten, a trend began to take shape. Message after message had the subject: To Layla. Not To Pumpkin, like they saw me as a real person. Like they’d coordinated their effort to say goodbye or beg me to reconsider. I couldn’t even start to open them, or I might cry.
When midnight struck and we convened at the kitchen table again, I pushed the laptop over to