ever again. I’m stronger than them and I’ll battle all of my demons.
Coming to Benton Falls showed me one thing; I have a family and people who have my back no matter what. The guys in the club are with Killer on a daily basis out searching for any clues about what’s going on and who’s after me. Each and every ol’ lady and female associated with the club, other than the house bunnies, are there for me to vent to and let out all of my fears and pain. They still don’t know everything I went through and that needs to change. So, while Killer is gone and the rest of the men are either with him or working, I’ve sent out a mass text to have the girls come see me at the club.
I’m nervous as hell and not looking forward to filling the women in on what happened to me, but I think they have a right to know. Especially when some asshole is now bringing this shit back and bringing it to Benton Falls. At this point in time, I’m their only target. That could all change in the blink of an eye and I refuse to let any of these women get hurt because I couldn’t open up to them. So, I’ll lay my soul bare and let them hear all the shit very few people know. Plus, it’s not fair they open up about their lives and I’ve barely given them anything about myself in return.
I sent the message out about an hour ago and have been impatiently waiting the entire time now. I’ve paced the room I share with Killer, sat out in the common room with the TV on even though I wasn’t paying attention to what’s playing, and I’ve drank two bottles of water. I want to read, but there’s no way in hell I’ll be able to concentrate on anything in front of me. My nerves are through the roof because this is one of the hardest things I’ll ever do in my life. Sharing these memories and what I’ve been through will lay me bare for everyone to criticize. Yeah, Killer and my counselor know along with the women at the group meeting. It’s an entirely different feeling when it’s women you know, love, and respect.
All the girls are here now, and I’ve decided I don’t want to talk inside the clubhouse. There are too many ears who don’t need, or deserve, to hear my story. So, we all walk outside with drinks in our hands. I’ll need one or two in order to get through this. Especially with Kim here. She’s my sister by blood and doesn’t know what our sperm donor put me through. I’m sure she has an idea, but nothing in her mind compares to reality I’m sure.
“What’s going on?” Sam asks me when we reach a spot far enough from the clubhouse where no one will overhear us talking.
“Well, here’s the thing. I’ve been lying to myself about needing to keep all of my shit to myself. Killer knows it all and it’s not fair not a single one of you do. So, you’re here today so I can let you know what my past is. With everything going on, I want you all to know what happened to me, so it doesn’t happen to you because of these cock fucks,” I inform them.
Taking a deep breath and sip of my drink, I let myself go in my head so I can ignore the women sitting in front of me. After one final deep breath I launch into my story. There isn’t a single detail I leave out, the same I did with Killer. These people are the only ones who have gotten the entire story. Even the women of my group didn’t get every, gritty detail. They got most of them, but that’s it. It’s my story and I get to choose who gets what part of it. No one else can do that.
As I’m talking and sharing my story, I hear the women surrounding me sniffling. When I look up at their faces, tears are streaking down their cheeks. My heart breaks at not only my pain but the looks of anguish filling my sister’s faces. Each one of these women are my sisters. Kim is the only one by blood, but the rest of these women are my sisters by choice.
After my brief pause, I continue to fill these women in