with his boys. So, if he can get Sam out of the house to have the boys all to himself, he jumps at the opportunity. Playboy’s been known to leave the door locked and make sure most of the lights are off too. His dad, Slim, is always trying to poach time with the boys too. He’s only got girls with Shy, so he needs his ‘boy’ time with his grandsons whenever he’s not busy with the club.
The relationships I see with members of the club and their ol’ ladies are what I strive for. The men all love their women fiercely and the women remain loyal to their men and the club as a whole. Slim, Wood, Boy Scout, and Playboy are all completely devoted to their women; they’d live and die for them. That’s what I’ve always wanted for myself. Though I never allowed myself to dream about it since I thought Neil would be my one and only husband. There would never be love in that relationship.
Then I met Killer and my hope for a relationship like that returned. Lately, I’m not gonna lie, it’s been dwindling to being almost non-existent because I never believed he’d be willing to have a relationship with me. Not with all the house bunnies he’s been fucking and then the random women he picks up when he goes out on a run or out with the guys. Yeah, I know about all of them. I seem to be very in-tune to every little thing Killer does. It’s been that way since I met him for some reason. I’ve kept that particular piece of information to myself.
For the next few hours, Sam and I talk, laugh, and just hang out. I make us a lunch of sandwiches and chips with soda before we start dancing our food off. In the middle of our dancing, I hear the door open, so I immediately stop moving to the song playing. Turning my head toward the door, I see Killer and Playboy standing there. They both have smirks on their face at catching me dancing. Yeah, it’s not often I dance in front of them. If I do happen to dance in front of them, I keep myself in check. When I’m home alone or Sam’s with me, I let myself be free. I don’t care about what she thinks when we’re dancing because she throws herself into the dance as well.
“Um, hi,” I say as my face heats up from the blush covering my skin.
“Hey, Sparrow,” Killer responds, walking up to me.
Killer still has the sexy as hell smirk on his face. I swear I fall in love with him a little bit more when he smirks. It makes him look younger, more relaxed than he normally appears, and as if he has a playful side. I’ve never seen a playful side to Killer, but maybe there’s one buried extremely deep in him. See, that’s one of the things I’d love to find in a man. I want someone who can laugh, joke around, and dance just because. Not because we’re at a club or the bar; simply because music is playing, and he pulls me in his arms to dance. I don’t care if it’s in the kitchen as we cook, in the backyard, or anywhere else it’s just the two of us.
“Killer, my girl here needs to talk to you about something,” Sam says as Playboy flings her over his shoulder, smacks her on the ass, and leaves the house.
I can’t help laughing at the two of them. Playboy and Sam are so in love and that’s what I want more than anything in the world. While I’d love to find that with Killer, I’m not sure if that’s possible. If he’s the type of man who can open himself up to any emotion or any type of relationship other than a quick fuck before kicking whoever he’s with out of his bed and essentially his life.
“What do you need to talk to me about?” Killer asks, his deep voice washing over me and making me forget what I want to talk to him about for a second.
“Oh, um, well, I want to learn self-defense moves. So, I was wondering if you know of somewhere I can take lessons. I don’t want to find myself in any similar position to where I was before,” I tell him, ready to run and hide from him.