I gasp in shock as the three pictures of me fill the screen. This is the first time I’ve seen myself in a picture and I’m blown away. While I still look extremely shy, there’s a carelessness and freedom about me. One I’ve never witnessed on my face in all my life. It’s a look I want to keep building on and ensure is there every single day.
“Are they okay?” Sam questions when I still haven’t said a word to her.
“They’re more than okay. I love them. I can’t thank you enough,” I gush, pulling her in for a hug. “Now what happens?”
“Well, you can search through the men who are close to us. Or you can sit back and see if any of them look at your profile or message you. You’ll receive notifications if you get a message or if someone clicks the like you button,” she informs me.
Nodding my head, I close the laptop for now. Sam looks down at her phone before letting me know Playboy is here to pick her up. I walk her out to the door and she lets me know she’ll call in a little while to check on me. She wants to know if anyone messages or likes me.
After checking on my sister, I decide to turn in for the night. I have counselling in the morning and want to be rested for it. I’m sure we’ll be discussing Killer and I have to be well rested if he’s going to be the topic of conversation. Counselling usually takes a lot out of me, but when he’s on the agenda, my exhaustion always seems to be worse for some reason.
Chapter Eight
Killer
GWEN HAS BEEN gone since I carried her out of the Naughty Peach. I know she’s with Kim and Fox, but that’s all I know. Well, other than the fact Sam has been over to hang out with her and did a makeover. Yeah, I got pictures from that day. Sam made sure to send me every picture she took of my woman. Gwen looks amazing on a regular day. In those pictures, I’ve never seen her look more beautiful.
It’s not because she has make-up on. Or clothes that show more skin than usual. It’s because there’s a sense of freedom and confidence I haven’t seen from her before. Even on the small screen of my phone I can feel the emotions radiating off of her. She’s nervous, but ready to embrace the change. Confident, yet wanting to climb back in her shell. Ready to take on the world, but not ready to leave the cage she’s built around herself with the ol’ ladies and members of the club. There really is no way to explain what I see in the pictures or what I feel when I see them.
I miss Gwen like crazy. She needs to come home. However, I also know it’s important for her not to feel as if I’m forcing her hand and making her come back to my house. Our home. Fox has told me she’s asked him about getting the rest of her things and he’s held her off for now. He warned me I need to get my head out of my ass and claim her once and for all. I’m planning on doing just that. I just can’t do that when she’s not here for me to talk to.
Today, I’m making it known what I truly want. While I want Gwen to be the first one to see the new ink I’m getting marked in my skin, I know the artist will be. I’m not even going to Phantom Ink to get it done. A friend of mine, Avery, has amazing skills and he’s coming to my house to do the ink. It’s not the first one he’ll have done on my skin, but it will more than likely be the last one.
He’s been here for a while now and is almost done.
“You need a break?” he asks me.
“Nope. Haven’t taken one yet and I’m not gonna take one now. It doesn’t look as if you have much left for me,” I let him know, remaining still as I lean over the back of my chair.
“Just a little shading and that’s it,” he lets me know, bending his head and going back to work.
This tattoo is on my side. I wanted it on my chest, but to get the full effect of it, Avery thought my side would be better. It hurts