"Damn it, Risa, that's not—"
"Isn't it?" I cut in and scrubbed a hand across suddenly aching eyes. I wouldn't cry. I wouldn't. "I listened to my heart, Azriel. I let you in. And you repaid that trust by taking away everything from me—"
"I haven't—"
"You took my future, Azriel! When I die, I won't move on. I won't be reborn." Wouldn't ever meet Mom again. "How can you stand there and say you haven't taken everything away?"
He didn't say anything. Didn't deny anything.
I closed my eyes and leaned my forehead against the windowpane. "I can't do this anymore, Azriel."
"Do what?"
Just for a moment, I swear there was fear in his voice. But that had to be imagination. Reapers didn't do fear. Didn't do emotions. Not the way I wanted emotions, anyway.
"You. Me. I can't do it. I don't want you near me. I don't want you in my life. I don't want you following me around anymore."
"Risa, that's not possible without—"
I swung around, my fists clenched against the sudden explosion of anger. "I don't care what is or isn't possible. I just want you out of my life!"
He stared at me for several minutes, his expression stony. Not even Valdis was emoting. "If you take this step, if you force me to go, I may not be allowed to come back."
"And I should be sad about that?" I spit out. "Besides, it's not like you won't know what's going on. Not with the chi link—"
"That link was cut when you stepped onto death's plane."
"So why are you still able to read all my thoughts and emotions?"