I shouldered past him, blinking back ridiculous tears as I stepped over the dying embers of our swords' fire. Damn it, far worse had been said to me over the years, so why would I let a comment like that get past the armor?
Because, my inner voice whispered, you care more than you should. More than is wise.
And he didn't. Because he was energy rather than flesh and didn't do emotions the same way the rest of us did. I knew that. Just as I knew his mission would always come first, no matter what. But the knowledge didn't help ease the pain of that situation or this one.
I made it five steps past the flames before he caught my hand and stopped me.
"I'm sorry," he said softly. "I should not have said that."
"No," I answered, not turning around and still blinking furiously.
He hesitated. "I did not mean to hurt you."
My smile held little humor. "If you didn't intend to hurt, you shouldn't have said the words."
"I agree. Risa, please, look at me."
I closed my eyes and took a deep, somewhat shuddering breath, then obeyed.
"I am sorry." He wiped a lone tear from my cheek with his thumb. "It will not happen again."
My gaze scanned his, but I could see nothing more than regret there. Whatever else he might be feeling or thinking, he was controlling it tightly. I sighed and rested my forehead against his shoulder.
"I'm afraid I can't offer the same. If I think you're going to die, Azriel, I'll do what it takes to protect you. I can't do anything else. I need you."
And not just for protection.
He brushed a kiss across the top of my head. Warmth tingled through me, filling the spaces that had been so recently shivering under the force of his fury. "If dying is my fate, then so be it. I am here to do a job, Risa, and neither of us should forget that."