He hesitated. "A chi connection is a connection of life forces—"
"I'm well aware what a chi connection is," I snapped. "Just tell me why you believe it's so damn dangerous."
He released a breath that was more a hiss. "It's dangerous because it can lead to assimilation."
I blinked. "Assimilation?"
"It happens when a reaper becomes so attuned to a particular human that their life forces merge, and they become as one."
"No—"
"Yes," he spat back. His expression was as grim as I'd ever seen it. "If that happens, my reaper powers will become muted, and I will never again be able to function as a soul bearer."
"But you can still be a Mijai?"
"Yes. But this is not a position I wish to retain for eternity." He glanced at me. "And I suspect you would not wish the connection between us to strengthen any further, or become permanent."
"God, no." I liked Azriel—a lot—but he wasn't Mr. Long Term. And neither was my Aedh lover, Lucian. I wanted someone who was flesh and blood real, someone who could give me a family and a life on this plane.
The lights changed again, so I pressed the accelerator and continued. "Does that mean the attraction between us is a sign that we're on the cusp of assimilation?"
"Possibly." He looked away for a moment, studying the road ahead. "But it is never wise to play with fire."
"We knew it wasn't wise when we made love," I commented. "It didn't stop either of us."
"No." The ghost of a smile crossed his lips. "And as much as I cannot regret that moment, to continue down that path is to risk the link strengthening into assimilation."
"Then you're going to have to be the strong one, because I'm damn sure I won't be." I tried to envision being around him and not being able to touch him. It just wasn't possible.