I stared at him blankly for several heartbeats, then fear struck anew and I began to shake again. God help me, with everything else that had happened, I'd forgotten about our faceless madman.
But he was still out there, still after me.
I couldn't do it. I couldn't cope. Damn it, why wouldn't everyone just leave me the hell alone? Was that too much to goddamn ask?
Azriel caught my hands and tugged me into his embrace. I closed my eyes and leaned my cheek against his chest, listening to the rapid pounding of his heart. It felt like heaven. Like I was home.
"Leaving you alone was what caused you to fall into Raziq hands." His breath tickled the back of my neck, ragged and warm. "That should not have happened, and I apologize."
"It wasn't your fault." I lifted my face and met his gaze. And while I ached to brush my lips against his, any move in that direction had to come from him. He knew what I wanted. He'd always known.
"If I had been here—"
"You would have been dead." Even saying the words had my stomach tightening. "I know you believe otherwise, but there were six of them, Azriel, and one of them was immensely powerful. She said her name was Malin."
He closed his eyes for a moment and said something in his own language. And though I didn't understand one word, I didn't really need to, given the anger in his voice.
"Malin is the leader," he said eventually. "She is the one your father betrayed when he stole the keys."
"Then what she did to me was as much about revenge as the keys." I hesitated, and suddenly realized I couldn't actually remember what they'd done. "Damn it, are you able to un-erase my memory?"
"No. And it is better that you do not know."
Which suggested he did. Frustration ran through me, but it was quickly forgotten when he brushed a fingertip down my cheek and rested it all too briefly on my lips. "But you are right about the revenge factor. Your father and Malin were lovers. Malin has commanded the Raziq for a very long time, and she is nearing the end of her life. She wanted to reproduce. Your father refused."
"But I thought that when the Aedh were at the end of their life cycles, breeding wasn't a matter of choice, but rather an imperative they couldn't ignore."
"That is true."