"What do you want, Lucian?"
It was tersely said, but he didn't seem to notice. His soft laugh ran across my senses as sweetly as a caress.
"What do you think I want? You, on me, under me. I want to feel your supple body, want to caress your silken skin, want to lose myself in the wonder of loving you."
Each word had visions of our tangled bodies rising, and sweat prickled across my skin. I closed my eyes and sagged back against the bathroom wall. I could resist this. I could resist him.
"Only trouble is," I said, the anger in my voice aimed more at myself than at him, "I don't want to see or feel you. I've already told you that."
"I may not be able to feel your need, but I can hear the lie in your words, Risa."
"I don't care. I said at least forty-eight hours and I meant it. Maybe next time you'll reconsider the roughhouse tactics and try a little more respect."
And with that, I hung up, and turned my phone off for good measure. It would piss him off even more, but I really needed to make the point.
Although what I really needed— I stopped the thought and frowned. Because if I was honest, what I needed and what I wanted were two entirely different things. I might need Lucian's brand of loving with a fierceness that was indescribable, but the person I wanted was Azriel.
And yet, I still feared taking that step. Still feared where it would lead, and what would happen when all this was over and he left for good.
Because I had a suspicion that if I let Azriel in, he could lay waste to my emotional being far more easily than Jak ever had.
I took a deep breath and slowly released it.
I couldn't risk it. I shouldn't risk it.
I closed my eyes and knew that more than likely I would risk it.
I shook my head at my own recklessness and walked into the main room. Where I stopped. Azriel was standing in his usual spot at the window, but his arms were crossed and tension rode his shoulders. Valdis was oddly silent. Neither of them was giving me any clue as to what he was feeling or thinking.