But Nikki didn't have three hundred years of weariness behind her.
" Oh God ... ” She hesitated, and her hand clenched against his. “I told him that I hated him. I told him he could burn in hell for all I cared. Ten hours later he was dead. I felt his soul leave his body, Michael. I felt it encased in the fires of Hell. I could have stopped it, but I didn't. Just as I didn't stop my parents” death. They all died because of me."
If she'd seen her parents’ death, why hadn't she warned them? Surely not out of hate—she had loved them, that much was clear. “His soul was cursed long before you came along, Nikki. You did nothing more than trust the wrong man."
"But he was good to me. He cared for me."
He was pretty sure the only person Tommy had cared about was himself. But she wasn't ready yet to face that. “He only wanted to make you trust him, make you need him. Where Jasper has tried force and drugs to subvert your will, Tommy used your emotions."
"But I loved him."
Yet even as she whispered the words, there was doubt in her thoughts. For the first time in years, she was looking past her fear and truly seeing the man Tommy had been.
"But he didn't die because of that love, Nikki.” He hesitated, the added, “He was a vicious thug who got what he deserved."
"Maybe. But there's still my parents."
Three hours ago she wouldn't have confided this much. And yet he sensed it wasn't so much trust as the need to finally purge her demons. Perhaps she saw the necessity as much as he. “Want to tell me about it?"
"No.” She took a deep, somewhat shuddery breath. “They were going away without me, taking a second honeymoon and leaving me in the care of a nanny. I was so furious with them. When I had the dream, I didn't tell them."
"You were a kid, Nikki. All kids do horrible things at one time or another."
"Not all kids watch their parents die. Not all kids feel the caress of their mother's soul as she passes away."
Which was surely punishment enough for her childish rush of spitefulness. “Would your parents have believed you even if you had told them? Would it have stopped them from going?" She smiled slightly. “No. They would have seen it as a variation on the tantrums I'd been throwing."
"Then you could not have changed what was fated to happen."