"And Neva was the only reason you returned?"
She glanced at him, knowing what he was asking, what he was thinking. The bitchy part of her wanted to keep him on the hook and wriggling, because he certainly deserved it after coming into her town and giving her nothing but attitude. But that wasn't fair, especially since she hadn't exactly been angelic in the attitude department herself. Besides, if she wanted to know if the love she felt was returned, and whether it had the possibility of long-term strength, then she had better start being honest. Even if he wasn't.
"Ronan had nothing to do with it. He and I were casual lovers and very good friends. Nothing more, nothing less.” She glanced at him. “He's not a threat."
"It wouldn't matter if he was.” His dark gaze seemed to lock hers, and for an instant it seemed like she was drowning in that sea of deep blue. And it felt glorious. “He wouldn't have a snowflake's chance in hell if I decided to pursue you for real."
"But you haven't decided,” she said, somehow managing to pull her gaze away and concentrate on the road.
"Because I don't need to. You're mine until I decide otherwise."
Once again with the moon promise. Why couldn't he see he was using it as an excuse—a crutch to emotionally hide behind? “I will never be wholly yours until you can trust me enough to make my own decision about who I want to be with."
He didn't say anything, just looked away. Frustration ran through her, but she resisted the urge to thump the wheel—or better yet, him. Because as much as it would be satisfying to smack some sense into his thick skull—to make him see that what was happening between them was more than moon magic—she also had to accept the possibility that maybe he never would.
The simple fact was, maybe he didn't want anything more that sex from her. He'd placed his work before her at Rosehall, despite admitting that he'd cared for her. Maybe that would happen again here in Ripple Creek. Maybe she was destined to love a man who was never going to commit to anything more than his work.
Maybe.
But until that happened, she was going to keep on pushing and hoping. Because she had to believe that what lay between them was meant to be, and that sooner or later, he would realize it. As the song went, no man was an island. Not even one as stubbornly determined to ignore the obvious as Cade.
* * * *
Cade climbed out of the truck and studied the old, two story brick building. He hadn't really taken much note of her home the last time he'd been here, being more interested in making sure she was okay. The building was smaller than he'd expected, and from the outside it looked barely wide enough to swing a cat. The two bottom-floor windows were barred, and the building itself looked to have a decent security system installed.
He glanced up. No bars on the top two windows and the fire escape looked in good order. But since they wouldn't actually be staying here, it didn't really matter how easy the fire escape or her windows were to get to.
He followed her to the security door, trying not to let his gaze settle on the enticing sway of her h*ps but not entirely succeeding.
"Small place,” he said, more to quell the urge to take her into his arms and kiss her senseless than any actual need to break the silence that had stretched between them since her comment about his lack of trust.
Which, he supposed, was a true enough statement. But given their past history, how could she really expect otherwise? Damn it, he didn't want to share her, pure and simple, and at least the moon magic gave him that security.
But did he want more than security? More than something short-term?
Maybe. But he was here to find a killer, not contemplate the direction of his life. Until that killer was found, he couldn't let himself truly concentrate on anything else. Just being with Vannah was distraction enough. He didn't need to be thinking about the future when the present might destroy any future hopes.
So why did he feel guilty? Why did he have this insane urge to say the words that would break the moon bond and leave her free to do as she pleased?
He didn't want a repeat of Rosehall. The attraction between them might still be insanely strong, but he was pretty much an old fashioned guy, and she still seemed to be the free spirit who refused to be pinned down to one man. As much as he might want to give her the freedom to choose, he just couldn't share her again. Nor did he wish a repeat of the emotional turmoil that had happened after she'd disappeared from Rosehall. She might have thought he was joking when he'd made the comment about getting drunk and smashing up his place, but he hadn't been.
She was the only woman who'd ever pushed him that far. The only woman he'd cared that much about.
He had no desire to go through it all a second time, but the more time he spent with her, the better the chance that would happen. They might know each other well sexually, but they knew squat outside the bedroom. At least the moon magic gave them a chance to be together, a chance to get to know each other better. A chance to discover whether or not there was the possibility of a long-term relationship without interference from other challengers.
He needed that time. They needed that time.
She opened the keypad's cover and pressed in her code, her fingers too quick for him to catch all the numbers. He swept his gaze over the door, looking for wires or any sign of tampering. “Why buy the old lodge if you're happy living here?"
"That's an investment in the future. I can't be a ranger forever."
"Why not?” He caught her fingers as she went to push the door open, and added, “Let me check first."
She raised an eyebrow. “Both this door and mine are security coded. No one can get into the building."
"You sure of that?"
"Yes. Anni has the code for this floor, but not mine. Not even Lana had both."