Keeping Secrets in Seattle - By Brooke Moss Page 0,87
sick,” I said. “Why didn’t you call Cameron and tell him not to come?”
He shook his head and his jaw clenched. “I needed some time to sort things out before I told my parents.” Gabe brought his eyes back to mine. “Before I could see you again.”
I gulped. This wasn’t going the way I’d seen it going in my head. “It didn’t occur to you to call Cameron and tell him that the wedding was off, and not to come to Seattle?”
“Talking to Cam wasn’t at the top of my list of things to do,” he said through gritted teeth. “By the time I tried calling him, he didn’t answer, and I thought it might be good to see him.”
The hair on the back of my neck stood upright. “You wanted him to come here?”
“No,” he said, his voice hoarse. “Yes. I don’t know, maybe. Part of me wanted to look him in the eye and—”
“And kick his ass on your parents’ back porch?” My voice rose, and I heard the hushed conversation in the next room stop. “Gabe, you would have put him in the hospital, and then you would be in jail.”
He scowled at me. “And you would have complained if I’d pummeled him?”
My face heated. “No.”
“Then I guess we have an understanding.” He pulled his keys out of his pocket and strode toward the door. “I have to get out of here…”
“Wait,” I said, following him through the door and back out into the rain. “Where are you going? We’re in the middle of a conversation.”
Gabe stopped but didn’t turn around and face me. “Vi, I can’t do this right now.”
“You can’t do this right now?” I yelled. “We’ve been in love with each other since we were kids. You know everything now. There are no more secrets. Why are you pushing me away?”
He turned and looked at me. “Every time I think about kissing you, about touching you, I picture Cameron hurting you, and I can’t see straight. I get nauseated.” Gabe reached for me, then let his hand drop at his side. “I do love you, Vi. I love you so much it hurts. But I just cancelled my wedding. Alicia still calls every day. I can’t get back the non-refundable deposit on the reception band. I can’t even think about starting another relationship right now.”
The hollow feeling I’d grown accustomed to over the years I’d spent watching Gabe date dozens of other women returned. I wrapped my arms around myself and drew in a sharp breath. “You love me, but you won’t be with me?”
He flinched. “Don’t take it that way. I didn’t mean it like that.”
My hard candy shell was returning, my eyes filling with disappointed tears that I refused to spill. “If you think I’m going to wait around for another nine years for you to come around, you’re kidding yourself.” An ornery tear escaped and slid down my face. I prayed that Gabe would mistake it for a raindrop.
His head tilted, and the crease between his eyes deepened. “Vi, no. Don’t cry…” Gabe’s hand came up to my cheek, and I had to bite the insides of my cheeks to keep from turning my face into his palm.
I took a deliberate step backward, out of his reach. “I know I kept a horrible secret from you for entirely too long. And I’m sorry. But you haven’t been perfect, either. You say you’ve loved me for years, yet you never told me. And dammit, Gabe…” I covered my face. My words came out muffled through my shaking fingers. “Why didn’t you force me to tell you what happened? Why were you so quick to assume that I would sleep with someone else? Why didn’t you fight for me?”
Gabe watched me melt down. His shoulders shook, and I wasn’t sure if he was cold or fighting tears of his own.
I pointed at him. “Yes, I screwed up. But you did, too. You say you love me and always have, but now I’m being told to wait for you to come around, when we’re both hurting! We should be going through this together.”
“Vi,” he said, taking a step toward me.
I put up my hands. “No. I can’t do this anymore. I understand you’re upset, and that everything you thought was true was a lie. And I’m sorry for that. But I would rather be alone forever than beg the man I love to be with me.” I glanced up at the Parkers’ house, where