Keeping Secrets in Seattle - By Brooke Moss Page 0,70

his belt, flashed in my mind, and my head throbbed. “I…” I gulped. There was that ball of broken glass again. “I have something I need to tell you guys.”

Betsy took my hand. “Hey, are you all right?”

“No.” I tucked my hair behind my ears and shook my head. “I’m not.”

They exchanged a glance, then linked their arms with mine. “Let’s go home,” Kim said softly.

I let them lead me away from the concert hall, tears streaming down my face as we went, leaving our seats and the second half of the performance behind. I was done with Gabe. Done trying to force him to listen to me. Done trying to save him from making the mistake of his life. I needed to get home, get changed, and call Landon. He needed to know my secret, too. If we had any sort of future at all, it had to come out.

…

Landon’s eyes were wide when he entered my apartment. He’d never seen me cry before, and when I called to ask him to come over, I’d been sobbing. “What’s the matter? Are you all right?”

I looked at him through swollen eyes. “Come in.”

“Why are you crying?” He followed me into the living room, where Betsy and Kim were sitting on the couch stoically.

“Technically, I’m not crying anymore.” My stuffy nose made my voice sound cartoonish.

Landon looked at the girls. “Hey, guys.”

“Hi.” Betsy dabbed at her own eyes as Kim looked down at her hands.

His gaze moved from them to me. “Violet, what’s going on?”

Kim rose off the couch and pulled Betsy up by her side. “Come on, babe. Let’s go to bed.”

“Thanks.” My voice cracked, and Kim scooped me into a hug.

“Love you,” she whispered.

“You, too.” I watched as they padded out of the room, then faced Landon, whose face was pale. It looked like he was waiting to hear who’d died. “Come on. Let’s sit down.”

We sat down on the couch, and Landon’s mouth stretched into a thin line.

“I’ve got something I need you to know about me before we go any further with this relationship. Something that might change the way you feel about me.”

He gathered me close to his chest. “Nothing could change the way I feel about you. But you’re kind of freaking me out.”

I drew a long, shaky breath. “I’m kind of freaking out myself.”

Landon’s callused thumb rolled from one knuckle on my hand to the next. “Why?”

The ball of broken glass appeared in my throat and started to expand. I’d encountered the same thing when I sat down to tell Kim and Betsy my secret and managed to muscle my way past it. I just have to do it one more time…just one more time, I told myself. I couldn’t keep seeing Landon with a giant, iceberg-sized secret between us. I fanned myself with my hand. “Is it warm in here?”

He shook his head. “No. It’s not. What the hell is going on?”

I looked into Landon’s chocolate-brown eyes and choked down the lump. It hurt and scratched going down, but once I did, I was able to open my mouth and speak. My words started off quietly but built in speed and volume as they poured out of me.

Chapter Seventeen

September 16, 2003

My mom sent Gabe away. I should have run down the stairs and caught him before he left, but I felt glued to the side of my bed. But my lip was still bleeding, and when I looked down at the torn pile of clothes on my bedroom floor, I decided I would call him later. As soon as I could calm down…

“I was sexually assaulted,” I blurted out. “In high school.”

Landon’s mouth dropped open, and his face paled. “I…what?”

The snowball was rolling now, gaining size and intensity as it went. “I was a really chubby, awkward kid growing up, and kids used to make fun of me. One kid in particular. Cameron Hakes.”

Ignoring how Landon was now staring at me like an alien sitting across from him on the couch, I recalled the entire event in detail. I pressed a hand to my middle and silently begged it to relax as I described the night that changed my life. How loudly I’d screamed for help, and how nobody could hear me over the throb of bass playing upstairs.

Landon looked away. “Oh, Violet.”

I shuddered, memories of that night fleeting through my mind, leaving it scabbed and raw.

I stopped speaking, looking up through my hair at Landon, who was frozen in place, unmoving, not