Karma (Kings of Rebellion MC Book 1) - K.T Fisher Page 0,56

we aren’t.” I dismiss her, returning to my wardrobe.

“But he did take you on a picnic.” She points out. “And then took you back to his room when you were drunk.”

“It was sandwiches in the backyard and he told me he wanted to look out for me, that’s all.” I correct her, but I know I’m lying to us both. It was more than just sandwiches, we talked and he fed me chocolate. It was sweet, especially for a big, biker man like Brandon.

I spot my jeans on the shelf, I haven’t worn them for a long while and they used to be a really tight fit. When I pull them on, they’re fitted but not as figure hugging as they were before. I find a red vest top and throw it over my head. I glance at my jumpers and browse at my selection of cardigans but decide I don’t want to wear one today.

“Pick the boots.” Natasha advises and I smile back at her, giving her a mock salute and slip them on. They’re black, with big buckles along the side and a chunky heel. Very biker looking and I’ve been worried about wearing them around here, until now.

“What did you do in that shower?” Natasha laughs and I freeze.

“What?” I don’t turn around to face her.

“Well, I haven’t seen those jeans on you probably because they’re sexy as hell, and you haven’t worn red. All I’ve seen you in is black or grey, the colour looks banging on you and those boots.” She puckers her lips at me. “They make you look like some sexy ass biker chick. You look hot, Brandon will be drooling!”

I look down at myself, assessing the outfit I have innocently picked out and realize that Natasha is right. Is she right? Was this to do with my shower? Did pleasuring myself help me out of this funk I’m in, even just a little?

Maybe because it’s the first time in what feels like a long time that I was in control of myself. I did what I wanted and was in charge. Something so simple, yet so powerful.

“I masturbated.” I admit to her and wait for her laughter, but it doesn’t come. I turn to face her and she’s looking down at the floor. “Tash?”

“I heard you.” She smiles up at me. “I’m proud.”

I go to sit beside her. “You’re proud?” I laugh.

“I am.” Natasha isn’t laughing, no she’s deadly serious. “You’re getting back in control and I’m proud”

“What’s up?” I ask her, I notice that she looks down. “Has something happened?”

“I kissed someone yesterday.” She admits, but she doesn’t look happy about it. If anything she looks horrified. “Oh god it was awful!”

“Natasha, talk to me.” I wrap my arm around her and she leans into me.

“I saw you and Grim and for the first time in a long time, you looked happy, so when one of the guys started showing me attention I leaned in for a kiss. And it was ok, until I started crying on him and it wasn’t a few tears, Lauren. I was full on blubbering like a baby, and he must think I’m crazy!” She holds her head in her hands.

“Who was it?” I ask, stroking her hair.

“It doesn’t matter.” She cries. “I thought I was ready.”

Her crying becomes more frantic and louder and I realize with shock that this is the first time Natasha has properly cried since coming into the care of The King’s. This is the first step to her recovery, and she doesn’t even realize. She didn’t need a man to help her. She needed to let it all out.

“Let yourself cry Tash, you need to feel it to be able to get over it.” I pull her up so I can see her face. “We will never forget, but we can move on and a man isn’t the answer. It’s this.”

I wipe her eyes, showing her the wetness of her tears and when she gets it, she cries some more and I hold her. Letting her know that I’m here for her.

Chapter 38

Natasha and I decide to leave our room, and truthfully I do feel different. Something inside my head or my body switched, and I feel like not only do I now own my body but my mind too. Smiling to myself I scream inside, fuck you Demon and Strike! Fuck you Andrew for selling me like I was yours to own and fuck everyone who used me! I am