Karma (Kings of Rebellion MC Book 1) - K.T Fisher Page 0,50
footsteps. I don’t even feel embarrassed that he’s seen me like this because he has seen me a lot worse. Not only when I was at the Devil Spawn’s clubhouse, but when I was open and raw back in Franky’s office.
“Hey sweet.” Natasha crouches beside me. I turn to look at her, but I don’t feel like saying anything. “We need to get you out of this shower.”
She reaches over and turns the water off and grabs a towel.
“Come on.” She gets me to stand on wobbly legs and wraps me tightly in the warm towel. Natasha holds me tight, trying to absorb her strength into me because I really fucking need it right now. Unfortunately, we’re only human and that can’t be done, but it helps to know that she’s here for me.
As she leads me to my bed, Elise and Drew come running in looking so worried and I feel like crap because I’m making people care for me when I should be just like Natasha and Elise and deal with everything quietly.
“I’m so sorry.” I whimper as Natasha gently helps me down on the bed.
“Why?” She asks, looking deadly confused.
“Because I’m crying!” I fall apart again as Elise and Drew walk back in. “Why can’t I be strong like you? Why do I feel like this? I’m being so fucking weak!”
“Hey now!” Shouts Elise. “What the fuck is this crap you’re talking?”
Her language shocks me because Elise doesn’t swear, but now that she has I take notice.
“It’s true.” I sniffle. “You and Natasha aren’t acting like me. I’m messed up, you two are fine and I just can’t cope with the nightmares and flashbacks. It’s all getting on top of me and to make it worse, I thought that I’d feel better out here. I’m away from Demon, but I can still feel him!”
I hang my head in shame and feel the bed drop. I look up to see all three girls sitting on my bed with me.
“Just because I’m not crying, doesn’t mean I’m not suffering.” Natasha admits. “Fuck, I see those men’s eyes every time I close mine and I’m scared that it’s never going to go away. I wish I was more like you, Lauren.”
“What? Why?” I’m so shocked.
Natasha looks me dead on in the eyes. “Because you are strong, Lauren. You’re strong enough to deal with all that shit Demon and Strike did to you all on your own. You stood up for Elise when I thought you were crazy and after all that you’re still the strongest one because you are letting it all out and dealing with it. Me? I can’t even shed a single tear, that’s how fucked up I am. I’m so used to that club and what they did that I feel that anything else isn’t right for me and I need to deal with that how I feel best. You are doing great Lauren, don’t ever think different and if you do feel yourself slipping you have us.”
Natasha grabs me in a hug and I hear Elise from beside me. “I didn’t go through everything that you two did. Not half as bad, but I was still taken away and scared. I’ve cried on my mother’s lap and I’m not ashamed to say that but it helped me and to be honest, I feel like I can’t express how shitty I am doing in front of you two because you had it so much worse than I did.”
“No, that is stupid.” I frown at her. “Of course you are going to be upset, look at who they were and what they did. It wasn’t a competition Elise, we were all in that room and you have every right to be upset about that.”
She starts to cry immediately and joins my and Natasha’s hug. I look up and see Drew looking at us through a shit load of tears and usher her into the cuddle.
Chapter 34
The next morning I wake with very sore and puffy eyes. Natasha doesn’t quiz me too much, but I do notice that her eyes seem to be watching me. Elise arrived this morning to deliver breakfast in bed which was great because that meant I didn’t need to leave my room until I was hungry again.
Around noon, the smell of delicious home cooking persuades me to leave the safety of my room. When I enter the kitchen, I see Grim’s mother busy cooking with a bunch of other women and when she spots