we do that, she could flip over and damage her shoulders, unless you can support her weight and stop that?”
“Mmmm, difficult, because the ropes move so much.”
“And if we take the arms out first?” he proposed.
“Mmmm, her legs could come loose and then she falls.”
“Mmmm.” Again, Noah seemed to consider this, and I wondered why they were both saying “mmmm” so much. It was not a sound that filled me with great confidence.
“Maybe someone can catch her at the bottom?” Maxine suggested.
“No! NO! No falling. No catching.” I spoke for the first time.
“What if two more people come up and it’s done all at the same time? Legs and arms!” someone yelled from down below.
“Yes,” someone else replied.
“Yes,” someone echoed.
“For sure.”
“Let’s do that.”
“Totally.”
Affirmatives rang out in abundance from the small crowd below.
“No!” someone else said, breaking it. “I think the ropes come loose at the top. We could loosen it and catch her as she comes down.”
“They don’t loosen,” someone else confirmed.
“Shit,” someone moaned. There was a momentary silence from the crowd, as well as from Noah and Maxine.
“Maybe we should cut her down?” someone offered.
“NO CUTTING!” A man wearing a shirt with the gym logo on came running up. He looked like the manager here. “No cutting.”
Another long silence. So loooooong.
Really, very bloody long.
“Where’s Mikey?” someone asked.
And then the huge murmur broke out. It was loud and consistent, and the volume of it increased as the seconds passed.
“Yes!”
“Yes, Mikey!”
“He’ll do it?”
“Mikey!”
“Him!”
“Yes!”
Everyone seemed to be in agreement now that this Mikey person would be able to fix my upside-down, stuck predicament. I should never have climbed this in the first place. Oh, regrets! Deep ones.
“Call him,” someone yelled.
“Call Mikey!” another person echoed.
“Yes, Mikey!”
And then a chorus of “Mikey”s rang out followed by a loud and booming, “I’m here!”
Oooh, now that sound gave me confidence. That was the sound of someone who seemed like he could get me off a rope.
I tried to turn my head, to see who this Mikey was. And when I did, I couldn’t stop the shocked sound that flew from my lips.
Mikey was the biggest man I’d ever seen in my like. Granted, my life so far had consisted of the ambulance, to now. But still, I was sure that if I knew what more men looked like, I would still be quite convinced that this Mikey fellow was indeed the largest man in the universe. He was huge, he was shirtless, he was bulging and he was indeed very, very orange. Mikey made his way across the floor, stomping towards me. And even though the floor was made of sponge, I swear his feet made loud thumping sounds as they went.
“Come down,” Mikey bellowed to Noah and Maxine, and they obeyed and scurried down. I closed my eyes tightly now. Maybe if they were closed, this whole ordeal wouldn’t feel as bad. And then the ropes gave an almighty shake as Mikey began climbing. The ropes shook like they had never shaken before, and then stopped when he finally reached me. I felt what I think was one of his hands, although it was so big it was hard to imagine this as a mere mortal’s body part. I felt first my legs untangle, and then my arms, and then a strange and frightening sensation as I felt my body being lifted and tossed! I yelped in fright and heard Noah shout an “It’s okay!” from the floor. With my eyes still closed, I had no idea what was happening to me, but when the strange swinging sensation stopped at last, I opened them. And that’s when I realized I’d been slung over this mammoth orange man’s shoulder.
A big cheer rose up from the gym as Mikey walked with me like that for a while, and I didn’t know if I should give one of those waves that the Queen does. It seemed appropriate, for some reason. So, I did. This caused a huge burst of laughter to ring out from the crowd around me. Noah and Maxine were also laughing now. The mood in the room lifted and soon this big muscle-bound man stopped walking. And then, ever so gently, he lifted me off his shoulder and placed me down on a chair. It was almost elegant, the way he’d done it. Like that scene from Dirty Dancing when Patrick Swayze lifts Jennifer Grey into the air while they’re both having the time of their lives. This, in contrast, though, was not the time