Just a Positive Pregnancy Test - London Casey Page 0,84
I judged him. I took it too far. This guy is a good one. He’s damn good. Damn special. Dad would have loved him. I think Dad does love him. Dad loves your baby too. Wherever Dad is right now, you know damn well he’s working to make things right.”
I nodded at my big brother.
He leaned down and hugged me.
“She needs to get some rest,” Silas said.
“It’s a lot at once,” Olivia said. She looked at me. “Just so you know, everyone is here. The entire family.”
I shut my eyes and nodded. “Of course they are. I just… can’t…”
“Of course,” Olivia said. “Focus on your family. Your family, Mila. Remember that. Your family.”
Tears spilled from my eyes and ran down my cheeks.
Tyler and Olivia left the room.
Silas came to my side again. “I tried…”
“Darling, you had the baby. Our son is here. I need you to rest for a little bit. Then we can see him.”
“We can see him?” I asked.
“Yes,” Silas said. “Our son.”
I shut my eyes again and kept weeping.
He was here. He was alive. But it was way too soon.
That meant no giving birth at the same time as Olivia. That meant not leaving the hospital with my baby the same time as Olivia left with her baby.
It was all messed up.
I messed it up.
Something I did made this happen.
I reached for Silas.
His strong hand took mine.
“I love you, darling,” he whispered. “I’ve never loved someone as much as I do right now. And I know the second I see our son, I’ll love him just the same too.”
I nodded.
There were no words.
I really had no idea what was going to happen next.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
SILAS
I paced the hospital room floor with so much rage in my heart, I didn’t know what to do with it all. A part of me said to go see Tyler and Crosby. They were like brothers to me now. They were there for me through the first scare of the pregnancy. Only this wasn’t a scare. This wasn’t a scare at all.
He’s here. The baby is here. My son is here.
Except… he wasn’t.
It wasn’t what Mila wanted. Or what I visualized.
We weren’t side by side in a hospital room with a baby in our arms.
Mila didn’t get the chance to quickly put the newborn to her breast and have that connection. I didn’t get the chance to cut the cord, kiss her forehead, cry with her, and I didn’t get the chance to hold him in my arms and talk to him.
I had a speech planned out and everything too.
Writing music had been tough to do as of late. Lyrics stopped flowing. All I could do was write these speeches. So I had one all worked out for my son.
I looked at my empty hands.
I thought about my Mila in a hospital bed, confused, scared and hurt…
A hand touched my arm. “Silas.”
I lifted my gaze and I saw Mila’s cousin.
Anna.
The nurse.
“Hey,” I said.
She was the one who had the hots for me.
Her face was different now.
Sad. Caring. Worried.
“Where’s my son?” I asked.
“I promise, Silas, they are doing everything that needs to be done,” Anna said.
I pulled my arm away from her reach. “I don’t want to hear that shit anymore.”
“Okay. It’s the only answer I’ve got.”
“I don’t believe that,” I said. “You’re a nurse here, right? You know things. You can make calls. You can do something, Anna. Do it for me. Do it for Mila. You can’t imagine what she’s feeling right now.”
“You’re right, I can’t imagine it.”
“Then do something!” I growled.
Anna’s cheeks turned red.
“Fuck,” I whispered. “I’m sorry for that, Anna. I’m so…”
“I know,” she said. She touched my arm again. “I want to say it’s okay but I won’t say it. So how about I offer you a drink? A cup of coffee?”
“Booze?” I asked.
“I can arrange that if you really want it.”
“Is that because you think I’m an alcoholic rock star, or because you want to impress me?”
“Or maybe because I care about my cousin, you and your baby.”
“You sure?”
Anna tilted her head a little. “It was a crush, Silas. You had good music. You looked good. What was I supposed to do? I wasn’t into the pretty-boy pop stars. I like rock stars. Is that a crime?”
“The only crime here is that you said I had good music.”
“Well, you haven’t written anything new in a long time,” Anna said.
“I’ve been a little distracted,” I said. “Your family is overwhelming sometimes.”