in the middle of bumfuck nowhere there’s no one to hear our screams. Or something like that.
“Are you scared of cabins like you’re scared of dogs?” he asks.
“Definitely,” I say sarcastically. “Don’t you ever watch horror movies?”
“It’ll be fine. This nice man was more than happy to take our money.”
“He’s probably a serial killer,” I say as I follow him away from the safety of the taxi and up to the cabin in the middle of the woods. “I even heard you tell him you wanted the most secluded one.”
“Yes, because we’re on the run.”
“And he agreed because it’ll be easier to murder us.”
Shepherd turns to me. “Did you forget how good I am with a gun?” he asks quietly.
“I’m good with a gun too. I shot that man then nearly vomited everywhere.”
“I remember,” he says as we walk up to the porch and knock. The door is instantly opened by an elderly man with a huge smile. When Shepherd turns to look at me with a raised eyebrow, surely wishing he could say something about the man’s lack of ability to murder, I simply look away. Does he not realize serial killers can get old too?
“I’m so happy you decided to call! It’s so quiet during the off-season that I was more than happy to get the place ready for both of you. You said you’re backpackers?”
“Yeah, we’ve been traveling some but my brother got hurt,” Shepherd says as he waves to my arm that’s bandaged under my hoodie. “So I thought it’d be best to just take a little time off. I’m glad you’re able to help us out!”
“Yes, yes, let me show you around. Oh! I’m Dave, and you were…”
“I’m Nick and this is my brother Lucas,” Shepherd says as he gestures toward me.
“Nice to meet you both,” he says as he steps farther into the cabin. “Here is the kitchen, dining room, and living room! You don’t have too far to go!” he says, then laughs.
Shepherd, the sucker he is, chuckles politely. “Looks wonderful!”
“Two bedrooms. You boys can fight over the big bed or the bunk bed!”
“Great, thank you.”
After he shows us around and spends extra time showing off the hot tub which seems to be the only thing in this place that has been added in the last twenty years, he takes the money and heads off on his way. We drop our bags of stuff in the living room before I start scrutinizing the place.
“I feel like if someone wanted in, they could just blow the front door open,” I say.
“I am a five-time world champion marksman and have beat everyone I’ve ever gone against,” Shepherd says.
“Really?” I ask.
He snorts. “No. But I’m still alive and they’re all dead, so what do you think of that?”
I sigh. “I think you’re cocky, and we’re probably going to die.”
“At least I’ll die rich.”
“Forty thousand isn’t rich,” I say, in case he wasn’t aware. “Like… I could blow that in an afternoon.”
“On what?”
“On you!”
He starts laughing at how right I am. “Huh, true. Although, I’ve spent more than I’d like on you so far. Like… this!” He opens one of the store bags and pulls out a bottle of hair bleach.
I think I stare at it for a full minute before comprehending what he said. Even then, I’m still unsure if I’ve heard him right. “Wait… excuse me? This must be a joke. What… no… you’re… no… that’s for you, right?”
He waves at his head. “No, my hair is already light so I’m going darker.”
“No… but… my hair… you wouldn’t…”
He ignores me as he starts unloading groceries in the fridge. I take the box of hair bleach and give it to Bear who gladly takes it. He trots around the living room with it in his mouth, thrilled I gave him something while I realize that I might have just killed two birds with one stone. Literally.
“Don’t poison the dog,” Shepherd says.
“Look how happy he is. He wants to be poisoned,” I say as I motion to the dog parading around.
Shepherd stops what he’s doing as he makes a grab for the box. The dog dodges him with ease. “Bear, drop it!” he says, but now Bear thinks that this is the world’s greatest game ever as he dances and prances while Shepherd chases him.
“He wants to eat it, Shepherd. Just let him!”
“I’ll make you try it first if you don’t shut it.”
“Stop abusing me,” I cry as he grabs Bear in a headlock and pries the