Just Home for the Holidays - Deborah Cooke Page 0,42

and Chloe waited. He moved around the living room, looking at items as if he’d never seen them before and finally sank down onto a chair. He perched on the lip of the seat, his gaze fixed on some distant image that only he could see.

“There was almost no one on the road. It had to be three, four in the morning. It was dark, too. Quiet.” His frown deepened. “I must have dozed off, maybe not for long, but long enough. A truck came onto the road beside us, merging off a ramp, and I woke up suddenly. I over-corrected and we went off the other side of the road. The car hit the median and rolled, then landed on its roof and started to burn. The truck driver got me out in the nick of time, but I tried to go back to get Hollis.”

“Your scar,” Chloe guessed.

He touched his side and nodded, then he swallowed. “But Hollis wasn’t in the car. The truck driver made me see and that’s why I didn’t die when the car blew up.”

“But where was Hollis?”

“He was thrown clear.” Hunter raised an agonized glance to Chloe. “The car had a sunroof and I had it open. It popped out when we hit the median.” He sighed. “He hit his head. The coroner said he probably never knew what hit him. I’m not sure whether that’s true or not.” He pushed a hand through his hair. “Not that it made me feel any better.”

“So, you took a lesson from that,” Chloe suggested softly. “That’s why you don’t believe in tomorrow.”

“Damn straight. The future’s a tricky bitch. She might not be there for you. You might as well make the most of every single day that you manage to wake up. Hollis never got to enjoy the results of whatever started after that concert.” His tone turned fierce. “You have to live in the now, like tomorrow is never going to come.”

“And not even commit to having a place to live.”

“What’s the point? It can all be swept away.” Hunter snapped his fingers. “Just like that.”

“And Christmas isn’t worth celebrating either.”

“There’s nothing festive about this anniversary.” Hunter took a ragged breath and she could see how devastated he still was by the loss of his brother. His twin. She wondered how different they’d been. “Sorry. I had no right to dump that on you.” He stood up and paced the room, then shoved his hand through his hair. He was avoiding her gaze.

“You had every right. I asked.” Chloe took a step closer and opened her arms. “Come here.”

Hunter looked at her, as wary and unpredictable as a feral cat. “No pity sex,” he said. “That would really be the worst possible thing.”

“No pity sex,” Chloe agreed with a smile. “I was thinking of a hug.”

“I don’t hug.”

“Who says you’re the only one who gets to break the rules?”

But Hunter held up his hand. “No, Chloe. You don’t get to find the silver lining here. There isn’t one. We aren’t beginning something wonderful. We had sex and it was great, but we’re done. I told you that before and you got me with the walnuts, but that’s it. Go have a nice life with some guy who can give you what you want.”

“While you wallow in self-pity until you die.”

“I’m not wallowing,” he snapped, and his brows drew together in anger. “I’m being realistic. I know what’s within my capabilities...”

“And you assume they’re static,” Chloe said. She retrieved her underwear and began to dress in front of him. “You assume that even though I need to learn to take chances and try out some risks, that you don’t need to change anything. You’re going to live in this moment of loss and grief forever, because you won’t take a chance on anything that matters.”

He folded his arms across his chest. “You’re telling me this matters? After two dates?”

He was trying to hurt her, to make her go away, and Chloe knew it, so she didn’t flinch. “I have no idea whether this matters. It’s too soon to be sure. But I think I could fall in love with you, if you had the balls to reach for anything more than what you already have.” She felt his shock as she picked up Mandy’s dress and pulled it on, managing the zipper herself. She was amazed to realize how angry she was with him. Her fingers were shaking but she still managed the zipper.

She pivoted