Just Breathe Again - Mia Villano Page 0,38

week they discussed how morphine would work, and the box with Lydia. She was aware of everything.

“You know what you want to do, baby doll?” asked Hooty. She had so much experience with patients she knew when to intervene and when they could still make their own decisions.

Keeping her eyes closed and barely getting out a whisper she told Hooty what she wanted. “I want the medicine and my rosaries, please.”

“Okay, we’ll give you pain medicine and the medicine will make you sleep a lot, but baby, the pain will be gone. Is there anything else?” she asked.

Hooty handed her the rosaries that sat on the table next to her bed and Lydia held them against her.

“I want my mom. Can you have her and Michael come her?”

“Whatever you want, baby.” Hooty stood up and walked over to where Jeannie was sleeping. She woke her up and told her what was happening. Michael was upstairs and Jeannie ran upstairs to get him. They both came over to Lydia and sat next to her on the bed.

“I wanted to say bye. I …love you. I’m going and we will wait for… both of you to get there. I love you so much,” said Lydia.

Jeannie was crying as she clutched her daughter’s hand and listened to her say goodbye forever. Michael laid his head on his sister’s shoulder and she tried to reach up and pat his head. He cried and held her other hand.

“Lydia, you are the best sister in the world. I love you too. Tell Daddy I miss him and …” Michael couldn’t get any more out. He was too upset to say anything else. His body shook as the reality of losing his sister took over.

“Lydia, you rest. I love you more than you’ll ever know. You are the best daughter a mom could have. I will be right here with you. I love you so much.”

As she held onto her mother with as much strength as she could muster, she whispered to her. “Be happy.” Through tear filled eyes, Jeannie looked up at Hooty who motioned for her to get up once Lydia was asleep. Marsha had walked downstairs when she heard Michael crying, in bed with his sister.

“Jeannie, come with me to get medicine out of my car. Marsha, can you sit with Lydia for a few minutes?” asked Hooty. Once they were outside, Hooty stopped and faced Jeannie.

“Baby, we have to move on now. The pain is getting too bad for our girl, and her breathing is slowin’.” She is sleepin’ all the time and her body is gettin’ cool,” said Hooty.

Jeannie said nothing, but turned away and kept walking.

“You hear me? We have to start the morphine. I’ll call the office and we will have the morphine started. Now, I need you to be strong for me, you hear?”

Strong? Lydia was strong. Jeannie was a wimp. The day she dreaded most was happening and there was nothing in the world she could do to stop it. The horror was coming whether she wanted it or not.

Jeannie’s legs gave out, and she fell to the ground. The grass was still wet, cold, and hard from the morning. It didn’t matter to her. She wanted to die with her daughter. Hooty rushed to her side to help pick her up off the ground.

Hooty grabbed Jeannie and held her close. “Listen to me. You have to believe the good Lord has a plan for you and Lydia. He don’t do nothin’ out of meanness or because someone done somethin’ wrong. He does it because it’s in his plan. It’s Lydia’s time. She’s ready, Miss Jeannie, and she is tellin’ you in her own way.”

“No, I don’t want to hear that. Everyone tells you to pray, pray, pray. That’s what I’ve done my whole life, and look what happened. I don’t want to hear any more about a loving God and that this is his plan for me. I need more time with her. She’s leaving me too soon,” yelled Jeannie.

“Right now, you don’t want to hear what I’m saying. Look at your daughter. She has faith that can move mountains. A faith I’ve not seen in anyone young or old. Faith is what holds her together and helps her face the worst thing anyone could have to face. She’s the one dyin’ at sixteen and she still has faith and prays. She understands God needs her and her life is to be played out like this,” said