Just a Bit Wrecked (Straight Guys #11) - Alessandra Hazard Page 0,29

tone. He was being stupid. But then again, drunk people were stupid.

“So what if I am?” he slurred, unsure why he wasn’t bothering to hide his inebriated state anymore. He could if he made an effort, as he’d done when he’d spoken to the receptionist. But it was Logan. His body seemed to think it was perfectly fine to act like a whiny, stubborn child now. It was Logan. Logan. Logan had seen him at his worst.

“At least you aren’t denying it,” Logan said dryly.

Andrew said nothing. He wasn’t even sure anymore what they were talking about, his eyelids becoming heavier as he listened to Logan’s breathing. This felt… so familiar. Disturbingly comforting in its familiarity. All that was missing was a hard body pressed against his back or better yet, a… He pushed his thumb into his mouth and made a contented noise as he sucked on it.

“Christ, are you jerking off?”

Andrew froze. “No,” he said around his thumb.

“You’re lying.”

“Am not.”

“You’re doing something. I know how you sound when you—” Logan cut himself off, muttering something frustrated under his breath. “Tell me.”

The demanding edge to his voice made a shiver run through Andrew’s body. He pulled his thumb out of his mouth and blinked at it as the realization of what exactly he was longing for hit him. He flushed. What was wrong with him, seriously?

“This is all your fault,” Andrew complained. “You got me used to— things, and now I feel all messed up and on edge without…” Without your cock in my mouth. Without your smell all over me. Without your arms around me. Without your heartbeat against my ear.

The words were on the tip of his tongue, but even drunk, he couldn’t say them, knowing that he would hate himself when he sobered up.

Logan was silent on the line.

Andrew wondered if he could guess what he wasn’t saying. He wondered if Logan felt as off balance as he did. He doubted it.

Finally, Logan sighed. “You’re such a mess.”

“I buried my wife today—again. I’m allowed to be a mess.”

Thankfully, Logan didn’t say that he was sorry. Andrew wasn’t sure he wouldn’t burst into tears if he did. His eyes were stinging, his throat tight. The worst part was, he wasn’t sure why he was feeling so sad, lonely, and needy all of a sudden when he hadn’t felt that way at the funeral.

“I think you need a therapist,” Logan said.

“Fuck you.”

“I’m serious,” Logan said, his voice grim. “I did notice that you started associating… certain things with comfort a while ago. A good therapist should be able to help you.”

Andrew laughed. “And how do you suggest I tell my problem to a therapist? Please help me sleep without a cock in my mouth? You do realize how humiliating it sounds, right?” He cringed, already hating himself for speaking about the elephant in the room.

Logan, the asshole, snorted. “I’m sure they’ve heard stranger stuff.”

Andrew scoffed and said nothing.

The silence stretched, both of them just breathing into the phone like two weirdos. But he couldn’t make himself hang up. God, he felt like he’d burst into tears if Logan hung up on him.

“I really hate you,” he whispered, his voice catching. “How are you so well adjusted already while I’m such a mess?”

There was no response for a while.

A breath, then another.

Logan said stiffly, “I wouldn’t be calling you in the middle of the night if I were well adjusted.”

“I think that was an insult, but I’m too drunk to get offended.” Andrew wished it were true. He might be drunk, but Logan’s words stabbed something deep inside of him, stabbed and twisted. No one needed him. No one wanted him. No one wanted to need him.

It was fine. Fine. He didn’t want to need Logan, either.

Logan sighed. “Drink some water and go to sleep, Andrew.”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” he said, even though he was already getting up to go to the mini-bar. He opened a water bottle and drank as much as he could without feeling sick, the phone still pressed to his ear. He was irrationally afraid that Logan would hang up on him, and that fear creeped the hell out of him. He really was messed up in the head, wasn’t he?

Feeling tired, Andrew climbed back into the bed and lay on his side.

“Now sleep.”

“I don’t need you to tell me that,” Andrew mumbled, just to be contrary. I don’t need you to sleep, he wanted to say, but it kind of felt like