Just Another Silly Love Song - Rich Amooi Page 0,28
You’re just saying that so you can send me a self-castration kit.”
“First class mail.” Ben pointed at the microphone. “You give men a bad name.”
“It’s not what it seems.”
“Yes—it is. What you’re doing is deceitful and wrong. I don’t blame your girlfriend for going through your things. In fact, I have a message for her. You need to break up with Jarod now! But kick him in the gonads first.” I reached over and hung up on him.
I opened my mouth and—
“Sorry,” Ben said. “Testicles.” He laughed. “You’re listening to Dr. Tough Love and we’ll be back right after this.”
Ben started the commercial, slid off his headphones, and set them on the counter.
I slowly slid mine off and stared at Ben.
He shrugged. “What? Don’t tell me you feel bad for Jarod, the cheater.”
“No, of course not. But is it possible for you to be nice for a change?”
“I don’t get paid to be nice. I’m here to give straightforward advice.”
“There’s a more respectful way to give advice.”
“Do you respect Jarod?”
“No, but that’s not my—”
“When someone does something good, I’m the first to acknowledge it, the first to congratulate them, even celebrate it. When someone does something bad, I’m going to let them know. I don’t beat around the bush. And you shouldn’t interpret being direct as being mean. How thick are men’s heads?”
I thought about it. “In general or just yours?”
Ben chuckled. “Both.”
“Very thick.”
“Well, there you go. Tiptoeing through the tulips with men doesn’t work. If you want them to get what you’re saying and take action, most of the time you have to drill it into them.”
I nodded. “Including you?”
“Of course, but Jarod takes it to another level. He’s a jackass.”
I’ll admit that Ben knew something about relationships and it almost seemed like his heart was in the right place sometimes, but he had the most horrible bedside manner I had ever seen in my entire life. He was like the doctor in that British series Doc Martin. Knowledgeable, but cringe-worthy at the same time. Okay, I admit that I actually enjoyed that TV show, but it wasn’t real so it doesn’t count. It was entertainment and nothing else.
I froze as Kyle’s words popped back into my head again.
Just think of yourself as two actors, playing to a live audience, but instead of being on television or on stage at the theater, it’s radio! There’s really no difference at all. You both are entertaining the listeners.
Ben arched an eyebrow. “Why are you staring at me?”
“I’m trying to figure you out.”
He chuckled. “There’s nothing to figure out. I’m an open book.”
“I don’t think you are, actually. You’re putting on a show, aren’t you?”
“This is my show, so I have to put it on. Otherwise there would be no show.”
I shook my head. “First of all, this is our show, and there’s a distinct possibility that you’re faking it.”
Ben scoffed and crossed his arms. “Please . . . I only fake my orgasms.”
I laughed, but then tried to cut myself off and snorted horribly.
It was way too late for giving Ben the satisfaction of thinking he’d said something funny. It was time to get my serious face back on, to avoid encouraging him.
Too bad I smiled again before I could stop myself.
Ben pointed to my face. “That smile of yours could melt an iceberg.”
I blinked.
How could such an infuriating man say something so sweet?
Chapter Ten
BEN
Lori Martin was the capricious, captivating, conundrum in my life. She confused me. She fascinated me. She irritated me. And she stimulated me.
All at the same time.
Like a beautiful rose with a scent I couldn’t get enough of, yet capable of being a thorn in my side. In other words, she was driving me crazy.
But there was one thing you would never hear me disagree with and that would be the magnificence of her smile. It didn’t happen often, but when she showed those pearly whites, wow. At this point, the only thing I could do was enjoy each smile while it lasted, then pretend I never noticed.
Lori crossed her arms. “Didn’t anyone teach you that it’s not polite to stare?”
The thorn was back.
Poking me.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I lied and pointed toward the wall behind her chair. “I was checking out the poster.”
She twisted around to look behind her, and then turned back toward me. “You’ve been on the air here for five years and you’re looking at the evacuation procedures of the building now?”