Jump! - By Jilly Cooper Page 0,207

the disciples were Jewish and regarded swine as unclean.’

‘The vicar’s awfully good-looking without his specs,’ murmured Painswick to Etta.

‘Come on, Marius, dance with me,’ said Amber, swaying in front of him and putting her arms round his neck. She must be drunk. He had such a lovely face, so planed and austere, drink never seemed to blur or redden his features.

‘You’ve got to cheer up and stop being so bad-tempered. You’ve had a brilliant day so enjoy the end of it.’ Snakily undulating in front of him, she gazed at his angry closed lips, then she pulled him close and kissed him, on and on and on, until everyone clapped and whooped.

‘Nice?’ she asked as she broke away.

‘Yup. Stop trying to annoy Rogue.’

‘Doesn’t look annoyed to me.’

Across the floor, Rogue, dancing with Bonny, had undone three buttons of her little bleak dress and was kissing her breastbone.

‘Where Pauline’s concerned, I want Valent to achieve closure,’ Bonny was saying.

‘And I want to achieve clothes off,’ giggled Rogue, undoing another button.

‘Good thing Valent isn’t here,’ said Painswick disapprovingly, ‘or he’d bring in the heavy brigade.’

Suddenly Etta felt very tired.

‘Come and join us,’ said Seth, who while he watched developments on the dance floor was sitting with the Major and Alban, idly listening to them banging on about moat control. Pulling out a chair for Etta, he filled her glass.

‘Bolton’s moat’s going to flood the village or cause a drought,’ warned the Major.

‘Someone ought to do something about goat control,’ giggled a swaying Trixie, pausing at the table to drain Etta’s full glass. ‘Chisolm escaped at Warwick and was found in the Owners and Trainers wolfing down all the sandwiches. When the barman threatened to charge her, she charged him. Ha ha ha.’ Trixie laughed too long and loudly at her own joke, then collapsed into the chair beside Etta. ‘I wish Valent was here.’

‘Were here,’ said Seth absent-mindedly.

‘He always makes things safe.’

‘And he could pick up the bill,’ said Shagger, waving an empty bottle at the next table. ‘We’re running out of champagne.’

‘That’s horrible,’ flared up Etta, ‘Valent’s the most generous man in the world,’ then blushed as they all stared at her.

‘Valent has picked up the entire bill,’ said Joey, switching off his mobile and coming out of the dark corner. ‘That’s why we’re all here.’

‘Good God,’ exclaimed Alban.

‘“For his bounty, there was no winter in’t.”’ Alan glared reprovingly at Shagger.

‘Mrs Wilkinson and Valent,’ said Seth, a slight edge to his voice as he raised his glass. He had noticed Bonny and Rogue going outside twenty minutes ago to ‘have a smoke’.

Bonny didn’t smoke, nor did she Normally drink.

‘Corinna’s old enough to be Seth’s mother,’ she was complaining to Rogue as they returned to the tables.

‘Probably is his mother,’ grinned Rogue, ostentatiously wiping off lipstick. ‘Whatever turns you on.’

Bonny’s mobile rang. ‘Oh Valent, dearest, where are you? I miss you so much.’ She ran out of the room.

What a tart, thought Etta. ‘I’m off to bed,’ she said.

‘Must you, darling?’ Seth escorted her to the door but didn’t discourage her. ‘Thank you so much. I’d never have remembered all those words if it hadn’t been for you.’

‘They sounded glorious.’ Then, in the hope that if he were in loco parentis, he might behave better: ‘Will you keep an eye on Trixie? Rogue’s fun but he’s a bit of a wolf.’

‘Of course,’ said Seth, kissing her.

As the disco launched into ‘American Pie’, everyone seemed to surge on to the dance floor.

‘I’ll come with you, Etta,’ cried Phoebe. ‘You are lucky to have that lovely room all to yourself.’

Etta was too depressed and exhausted to offer to exchange it. She’d just taken off her make-up, cleaned her teeth and got into her nightgown when the telephone rang.

After she picked it up, there was a long pause.

‘Etta, this is Alban.’ Even longer pause. ‘Wonder if you’d like a nightcap? I could bring a bottle round. You looked so awfully pretty tonight.’

‘That is so kind,’ cried Etta, trying to sound sleepy, ‘but it’s a bit late. But thank you so, so much, sweet dreams.’

Gosh! Five minutes later, the telephone rang again. It was the Major.

‘You were looking very tasty this evening, young lady. Fancy a noggin?’

‘With you and Debbie?’

‘Old girl’s hit the hay, just yours very truly.’

Etta tried not to laugh.

‘So sorry, Normie, it’s really sweet of you, but I’m a bit tired. Thank you so much for thinking of me.’

Gosh! Two minutes later it rang again.

‘Etta,’ stammered a hoarse voice. ‘Got a big bar

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