‘Gonzalo, an honest old counsellor’, beyond that. Seth and Corinna, who’d already gone to the theatre, were in ‘Ferdinand’ beyond that.
‘We’re in “Stephano”,’ said Toby, coming out into the corridor. ‘Who was he?’
‘A drunken butler,’ said Alan, ‘which figures. Go and get us a drink.’
‘Our bed isn’t nearly as big as Etta’s,’ grumbled Phoebe, ‘and there are two of us. Shall we see if she’ll swap?’
‘The vicar’s in “Ariel”,’ said Miss Painswick.
‘Who was an irritating little fairy, which figures too,’ said Shagger bitchily.
‘Watch it,’ hissed Woody.
‘Where the bee sucks/There suck I,’ sang Alan.
Bonny was in ‘Caliban’.
‘Two monsters together,’ said Trixie bitterly.
Etta for once was delighted by her appearance in a slinky black skirt and a beautiful white frilled shirt given her by Trixie and Dora for Christmas. She had drenched herself in 24 Faubourg, another Christmas present, which darling Tommy and Rafiq must have bankrupted themselves to give her.
She wished they could have come to the party instead of having to drive the horses home. At least the journey seemed shorter when you had winners on board, and she was so pleased that the two of them appeared to be growing closer.
Everyone had in fact dressed up like mad and, while admiring the vast photos of Seth and Corinna in the foyer of the Royal Shakespeare, excitedly told each other how good they looked, particularly Trixie, dark hair rioting over a fuchsia-pink jacket, tight black satin trousers above pink stilettos.
Then Bonny swanned in with Valent, slim as a wand in another little bleak dress which set off Valent’s diamonds, and upstaged everyone. Immediately the theatre audience recognized her and, nudging and squealing like Mrs Wilkinson, thrust their programmes forward to be signed.
‘Oh Lord, there’s the Bishop of Larkminster, I should have worn a dog collar,’ muttered Niall.
Inside, the auditorium was absolutely packed. Although the Major nearly had cracked ribs from being nudged awake by Debbie, for nodding off whenever Corinna wasn’t on stage, and Pocock and Joey, who’d been up since five, kept falling asleep, and Phoebe, the Little No Brow, kept tugging Etta’s arm – ‘What’s going on? Who’s he?’ – the rest of the syndicate enjoyed an awesome performance.
Corinna, in gleaming gold robes, was magnificently commanding, capricious and beguiling as Cleopatra.
‘Is that really our neighbour? Isn’t she wonderful?’ Tilda whispered to Alan.
Seth, on the other hand, made an unbelievably sexy Antony, prowling around, slit eyes smouldering, as they both set the stage on fire with their passion. Etta felt her crush reignite. There couldn’t be a woman who didn’t want to clamber on to the stage and rip off his toga.
All the syndicate cheered in the scene when Cleopatra cried: ‘Oh happy horse, to bear the weight of Antony!’ and Seth, his armour gleaming, could be seen on a back projection riding along on Mrs Wilkinson.
Alan was incredibly proud of his mate.
‘Isn’t he marvellous?’ he whispered to Tilda as he rubbed one hidden hand up and down her slender legs and pretended to make notes with the other. Glancing down the row, he could see Bonny, Trixie, Phoebe, Painswick, Debbie, even Woody and Niall, gazing up enraptured at an oiled, bare-chested, bearded Seth. Etta, having heard his lines, was mouthing every wonderful word along with him.
Valent, a competitive man, noticed this too, and sat wild with envy and jealousy, thinking wistfully that he could never compete with Seth.
‘Don’t look, Vicar,’ cried Painswick, putting her hands over Niall’s eyes, when, on a darkened stage, a naked Seth and Corinna could be glimpsed copulating.
‘She hasn’t shaved,’ hissed Debbie.
‘Don’t interrupt,’ snapped the Major, his racing binoculars registering every pubic hair.
‘Oh happy whore to bear the weight of Antony,’ quipped Alan.
More champagne in the interval kept everyone going.
‘Isn’t it fantastic?’ sighed Etta.
‘Jolly good,’ agreed Alban. ‘Pretty strong stuff. Egyptian women don’t behave like that now, more’s the pity. Must say, despite the rows, you can see Seth and Corinna still, well, still …’
‘Fancy each other rotten. I agree, Albie,’ said Joey, who was euphoric after huge wins that afternoon.
‘I don’t agree with you,’ said Bonny sharply. ‘Seth just happens to be a very good, underrated actor. He’s so natural, he engages with the audience. Corinna over-dramatizes everything and she’s much too old to take her clothes off.’
‘Cindy said the same about you,’ snapped Trixie and regretted it as Bonny turned on her:
‘And what does that mean?’
‘When Lester suggested you play Godiva.’
‘Don’t be ridiculous, Trix,’ said Alan hastily. ‘Everyone knows Bonny has the most beautiful body in Larkshire.’