Jump! - By Jilly Cooper Page 0,167

to stroking Gwenny, Priceless and Mrs Wilkinson, Etta found herself running her hand over Seth’s chin. ‘I thought Benedict shaved off his beard because Beatrice didn’t like them.’

‘He did, but I have to start the play with stubble, after that I can wear a false beard.’

‘It does suit you.’

‘I’m getting old like Corinna, I find it more and more difficult to learn lines.’

‘You’re only a baby,’ chided Etta, then humbly, ‘As I’ve said, I’d love to hear your lines if it’s any help. Do drop in at any time.’

‘Is little Trixie staying in Willowwood in the holidays?’

‘It depends on Alan and Carrie’s plans. I do hope I can keep her amused, she seems to spend her time on chat shows.’

‘Chat rooms,’ Seth said, laughing. ‘What’s the latest on Mrs Wilkinson?’

‘Blissful for her to be home. Dear Valent’s given her back his old office. Bonny had specially feng shui-ed it to calm him down.’ Etta started to laugh. ‘Alas, it distressed rather than de-stressed him, so he handed it over to Wilkie. It’s done wonders for her. She’s so relaxed she keeps falling asleep on my shoulder. Sorry, I’m being bitchy.’

‘Bonny is deeply silly.’ Seth filled up Etta’s glass.

‘You think so?’ Etta tried not to beam with relief. ‘I thought you had rather a soft spot for her.’

‘I’m not wild about either of them, Bonny and Clod. He’s terribly heavy going.’

‘Valent’s a darling,’ protested Etta, ‘and he’s been so sweet to Wilkie.’

‘He’s a yob, a mid-life Croesus,’ said Seth dismissively, ‘and she’s a joke. “Stand aside, Corinna Waters, Bonny Richards appeals to a younger demographic.” She’s not fit to lick Corinna’s boots.’

Etta felt giddy with relief.

With their main course, they moved on to the syndicate.

‘We must have some events to increase the camaraderie,’ sighed Etta. ‘People are getting awfully restless.’

‘Let’s have a mass orgy,’ suggested Seth. ‘Lester Squire can film it. He’s busy auditioning Peeping Toms. He need go no further than the Major. How’s Rafiq getting on?’

‘Riding work angelically, but Marius still won’t put him up. I don’t know how it’s going with him and Amber.’

By the end of lunch, Etta, who’d only managed a few lettuce leaves, had spilled French dressing all over her lovely lilac dress. Linking his arm through hers and singing the Hokey Cokey, Seth guided her, shrieking with laughter, towards the Polo.

She was appalled, as she collapsed against the car, to hear herself saying, ‘I’ve thought you were utterly gorgeous ever since you walked into the Fox and joined the syndicate, making everyone else join it too. Once Mrs Wilkinson runs again, we’ll be able to see each other more often. I don’t want to hurt Corinna, I like her too much.’

‘No, we mustn’t hurt Corinna,’ agreed Seth gravely.

As he opened the door of the Polo, Etta’s head fell back and she opened her lips in ecstasy, but Seth only planted a kiss on the corner of her mouth, adding, ‘We must watch out for the Neighbourhood Witch. Is it all right if I leave Priceless with you tomorrow?’

‘Of course it is,’ cried Etta.

Only when she glanced in the driving mirror to see if Seth were waving her off did she notice two fig seeds stuck between her front teeth.

As Seth wandered back to pay the bill, the prettiest luncher sidled up to him.

‘So kind of you to give Mummy a treat.’

Seth smiled. ‘Have a drink.’

Etta floated home. Such a beautiful day, if only she and Seth could have taken to the woods. She took the side off the Polo going into the school gates. Such a relief Sampson wasn’t alive.

Such a relief, thought Drummond, we can chuck Granny’s dreadful old car. Later he appalled his parents.

‘Pooh, Granny absolutely stank of drink and had to stop and have a wee behind a tree.’

‘And she hurt her car very badly,’ said Poppy. ‘She laughed all the way home and let us have crisps and two slices of chocolate cake for tea.’

Romy and Martin were outraged.

‘You’ve put our kids in jeopardy again, Mother.’

‘Just imagine if the police had stopped you.’

‘GRANDMOTHER DRUNK ON THE SCHOOL RUN.’

If they hadn’t needed help looking after the children during the interminable school holidays and with their dinner parties, they would have sacked Etta on the spot.

Etta refused to tell them with whom she’d been having lunch.

76

Next day Seth, looking even more gorgeous in a plum-coloured corduroy suit and dark purple shirt, dropped off Priceless. Explaining he was criminally late for rehearsals, he asked if he could possibly borrow the good bottle of

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