Judge Me Not - Maggie Cole

1

Jasmine

Children change everything in life. Or they should, but not everyone sees it that way. My husband, Troy, who I thought was my forever, didn't seem to think it was important enough to stick to our vows or even be a father.

After two years of marriage, I got pregnant. Eight months in, Troy decided he wasn't ready.

"This is more than I bargained for, and the baby isn't even here. My career is finally taking off. I can't be held down."

The air in the room suddenly felt as if it were suffocating me. My gut twisted as I stared at him, speechless, while he continued throwing clothes into boxes. I had just gotten home from the second job I had taken so we could have money to help further his musical career. His band always needed funds to produce their next album, or buy new costumes or instruments. And I was the stupid girl who worked her butt off to supply it so my husband could fulfill his dream.

God, I was stupid.

"Wh-what are you saying? I'm eight months pregnant. We're having a girl," I barely got out.

We're having a girl. As if that statement would make him want to stay and be the husband and father I thought he would be.

He dropped his socks in the box and sighed. His green eyes met mine. "I still love you. If you get an abortion, then we can keep things as they are."

I gaped at him. Hurt beyond belief, I also got pissed. I found my voice again. "You don't get an abortion at eight months! And we've already picked out a name. It's Abby, remember?"

He sighed again and ran his tattooed hand through his long, black locks. The tattoo was a heart, shaded perfectly, with a J through it to represent my name, Jasmine. I loved that tattoo and everything else about his overall bad-boy-rocker looks.

My mother warned me about him. I never knew my father, and from the moment I met Troy, my mother told me to stay away from him. She claimed boys like Troy were selfish, unable to love, and no good. But I didn't listen. She died a few years before we married. When Troy loaded up his car with his boxes and kissed me on the forehead, I'm sure she was rolling over in her grave.

I haven't seen him since that day. I don't know where he plays or resides. I've never gotten a dime of child support from him. The divorce papers he left on the table, wet with his signature, I didn't sign or file for several years.

When Abby was born, my cousin, Cee Cee, was there. She's all I have. Both of our mothers have passed. They were sisters, and neither of us has ever known our fathers. So maybe it's karma my baby girl doesn't know her daddy. Perhaps it's a family curse that won't allow the women in our family to have a happily ever after. Whatever it is, I can't dwell on it.

Abby is now six. I don't work two jobs anymore. I work three. But I'm not in your typical single mother situation. I don't work three jobs to only feed, clothe, and shelter her. I'm not doing it to put Christmas presents under the tree. Hell, I don't even know if we'll be able to afford a tree.

I only started working three jobs to pay for her medical treatment.

I'm fighting for my child's life.

"There is a new treatment available. It just got approved last week. Ninety-six percent of the patients who receive it become cancer-free. There have been ten years of trials, and not one patient's cancer has returned. And they were all children similar to Abby's age and medical situation," Dr. Plax informs us.

I grab Cee Cee's forearm, and tears fall. My baby has already been through so much. Multiple treatments have failed over the last few years. We were told the remaining options weren't promising and would only extend her life for a few months, a year at the most. They came with lots of long-term side effects, and there still wasn't a high survival rate. I was trying to decide if we would even go through with it when the doctor's office called to meet.

Cee Cee clutches her hand over mine. "And Abby is a candidate?"

Dr. Plax nods. "She's a perfect candidate right now. If her health falters, she may not be."

"When can we start?"

"The hospital is scheduling the first round of treatments in the first week