The Joy of Falling - Lindsay Harrel Page 0,85

day of walking and running. The cadence of the lapping water and call of a few gulls superseded everything.

Angela retrieved a stone from the shore, studying the droplets of water that clung to it and danced in the waning sunlight. Her thumb smoothed over the stone, back and forth, back and forth. Then she reared back and tossed it a decent distance. The plunk broke the placid surface of the lake, sending ripples that almost reached them at the shore.

Finally, her sister-in-law spoke. “Are we kicked out?” Her lips settled into a grim line.

Was that all she had to say? “No. We got a thirty-minute delayed start penalty for tomorrow instead.”

“Good.” The word fell flat, giving Eva no indication of Angela’s emotional state.

What else is new?

“Angela, why did you run ahead of us like that?”

“I had to get away.”

“From Simon?”

“From all of it.” Another stone flew from Angela’s hand into the water. No attempt to skip it across the top. Just a hard toss and in it went.

A flurry of wind skated across the water’s surface. Eva burrowed into her jacket. “Why?” There were so many questions contained in the word, but only one shook loose of Eva’s heart. “Why don’t you want to honor our husbands like I do?”

“Why should we honor them?” Plop. “They promised us forever, and then they left us.”

Angela finally looked at Eva. Her stormy eyes sent a wave of sympathy down Eva’s spine.

Eva squatted, picked up a stone, then stood and handed it to Angela, who took and pitched it. Over and over, Eva selected rocks and gave them to Angela to throw into the water. Finally, she dusted off the flecks of mud on her pants and leaned against the boulder next to Angela.

“Brent and Wes didn’t choose to leave.” She’d never once been angry at Brent for what was clearly an accident. But when tragedy struck, people often looked for someone to blame.

“Wes left before he died.”

Surprise flickered through Eva. “Like, he moved out?”

As she scooped up another large pebble, Angela shook her head. “Emotionally. After Roy passed away. I told you, he changed. And he left me behind. I told him doing all the stupid stuff Brent did would end with him hurt, or worse. And he didn’t listen to me.”

Eva tried to ignore the instant defensiveness that rose inside her at the mention of Brent’s “stupid stuff.” She flexed her fingers. “Maybe he was more afraid of never really living than of dying.”

Her sister-in-law’s head whipped toward Eva, her eyes zeroing in on her like a hawk. “So you think his wife and children weren’t enough life for him?”

“That’s not what I—”

“No, really, Eva. What’s the real meaning of living? Huh? And why did Wes get to be the judge of that? Why did Brent?”

“Don’t bring Brent into this.”

Angela’s biting laugh echoed off the boulders. “He’s already in this. He’s the whole reason you’re here. The whole reason both of us are.” She paused. “You know, I never understood why you were so adamant about doing this race in the first place.”

“I . . . I wanted to honor Brent.”

“You say that, but for goodness’ sake, you’ve already dedicated your life to his legacy. What about yours, Eva? Don’t you want to do this for yourself? The whole rest of your life can’t be about him . . . even if it was when he was alive.”

“Excuse me? It wasn’t like that.”

“Wasn’t it? Didn’t he decide what adventures you took? Wasn’t he the one who decided not to have kids yet, even though you wanted them? He wasn’t perfect, Eva. He was just a man, but you’ve got him way up on a pedestal like some sort of god.”

Eva flinched as if Angela had struck her with the rock in her hands. “How dare you talk about my husband like you knew him well. Like you know anything about our relationship.”

Her sister-in-law rolled the rock between her fingers for a few moments before speaking. “That all came out much harsher than I intended. I’m sorry.” A long exhale blew from her lips. “But even though my delivery stinks, I think maybe deep down you know that some of what I’m saying is true. It’s okay to admit that you didn’t have a perfect marriage. That Brent was flawed. And that you don’t need to live your life as some sort of shrine to him.”

Eva had never in her entire existence had the desire to hit someone—until now.

But not because Angela

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