Laughing again at my displeasure, the sound seems to slip out of his throat and wrap around me, turning my insides into molten lava. I hate it. I hate that this strange male who I want nothing to do with is affecting me like this. It feels...disloyal.
How can I be attracted to anyone who isn’t Cliff? It’s fucking wrong. My heart has belonged to him and only him since I was just a girl. He was always there for me. He made our fucked up life bearable. He earned my love. He sacrificed everything to help me leave. What kind of person would I be if I dishonored him by hooking up with someone else? Someone who I don’t even know?
I’m so pissed off at myself that my hands curl into fists.
“So listen,” Jericho begins, completely unaware of my change in mood. “There actually is something I need to talk to you about. I’ve been assigned by Igor to do your self-defense training.”
“Who the fuck is Igor?”
“He’s Hugo’s second-in-command.”
“Yeah? Well, go ahead and tell him that I’m not training with you or anyone else,” I reply, keeping my steps sure and straight.
“It’s mandatory for everyone in the pack.”
“I’m not in your pack,” I counter. “So mandatory doesn’t apply to me.”
“Hugo wants to make sure you can defend yourself.”
I snort. Obviously, they’ve never seen Troupe Delirium in action. “Hugo doesn’t need to worry about me.”
Jericho gives a sigh. “You’re a difficult one, aren’t you?”
I don’t deem that worthy of a reply, because of course I’m difficult. That much should be obvious.
“We’ll start this morning, since you’re already up. I’ll give you an hour to get ready while I go over some things with the other enforcers,” he tells me. “Meet me at the gym.”
I keep ignoring him, because that’s not going to happen, and I’m not sure why he’s even acting otherwise.
When we reach the warehouses, he gives me a smile. “See you in an hour.”
“Nope,” I say, breaking off to head to my warehouse while he goes to his.
Walking past the front yard and the carport, I tug open the door to the big metal building and then quietly close it behind me. My senses confirm that no one is moving around quite yet. All is quiet. That will change within the hour, since everyone will be getting up and getting ready to leave for their jobs or for their work around the compound. I like to be gone and inside my room before that happens so that I don’t have to talk to anybody.
I walk up the metal staircase and head across the catwalk to the end of the hallway where my door is. Slipping my key out of my pocket, I unlock the door and step inside.
The room is plain. Two empty beds, two empty dressers, and four empty walls. The TV is playing on mute, some How to Get Away with Murder show showing all the gritty details.
I kick off my boots and shove down my jean shorts before falling into bed, pulling up the gray covers all the way over my head. That’s another old habit. Since I often had to sleep during the day, in a van filled with a dozen other troupers, I learned to burrow myself beneath a blanket to block out the light and the rest of the world.
I drop off to a heavy sleep almost immediately. But Master Kaazu follows me even in my dreams.
10
Jetta
Smack!
I don’t flinch at the sound of Kaazu’s cane hitting one of my troupe members. “This fight is called Wicked Affair. Not Sloppy Seconds,” he snaps, his voice harsh and heated as he circles around Trish where she stands across the stage from me and the others.
“You’re supposed to move with fluid sensuality. You are bribing another male to your bed. You are using him so that he will become addicted to your flesh and kill your mate for you,” Kaazu goes on, his shiny black shoes gleaming beneath the purple and blue stage lights.
We’re set to perform in two hours, and he’s been telling everybody off for the last thirty minutes as we go through our final pre-performance run. Anything less than perfection is unacceptable to him.
“How can you entice anyone to fuck you if you move across the stage like a lumbering hippo?”
Trish keeps her face straight ahead, but anger makes her eyes flash.
“I’m doing the move exactly the way you taught me,” she argues.
I share a look with Heathcliff standing beside me.