JAX (The Beckett Boys #2) - Olivia Chase Page 0,51

but mine. Everyone tried to warn me—my friends, my family. Stupid me, I naively assumed…I don’t know. That Jax would want me enough to decide I’m worth the risk.

But the pain he carries from his past is too great to overcome.

I reach for the door handle and open the door. Step outside.

“Brooklyn,” he starts, but I interrupt him.

“Goodbye, Jax.” I close the door and walk away.

It’s been four hours, and I haven’t been able to stop crying. Gail, bless her heart, picked up when I called her and immediately drove to get me. We stopped by the drug store, where we got wine and ice cream, and we’ve been holed up in her new apartment ever since.

A few days ago, right before graduation, she and Samantha moved in together. I’m so happy for them and so crushed for me.

I’m sitting on the couch, shoving ice cream in my face. “I’m so stupid,” I say heavily. “I could have avoided this whole thing. But no, I had to go and fall for him.”

Gail rubs small circles on my back and makes soothing sounds. “If he doesn’t recognize what he’s lost by letting you walk away, he’s the stupid one. Not you. There isn’t anything unreasonable wanting him to commit to being your boyfriend. Hell, you guys practically were anyway. Some weeks, you saw each other more than Samantha and I did. If he can’t see that, and realize that you’re not asking him to sacrifice his soul, then he deserves to rot alone in hell for eternity.”

I gasp and look over at her, and she has an evil smile on her face. “That’s harsh, Gail. Wow.”

“Shh, eat the ice cream,” she sooths with a wink. “I’m not really a dick. I’m just mad that he hurt you.”

My heart feels like a ragged thing trapped in my chest. I exhale hard and put the carton on the coffee table. “I don’t know what to do now,” I admit. “I feared this would happen, but some part of me hoped…”

“Hoped he’d find you worth the risk,” she finishes gently. “Baby, you are. He just didn’t realize it. That’s not your fault, or a reflection on you. Clearly he has shit to sort out before he can be ready for anyone.”

She hugs me, and I hug her back.

Jax

The last two weeks have been miserable. Shitty, shitty miserable. I stand behind the bar at Outlaws and sling drinks. It’s hard to fake like everything is fine, to keep up my usual charm, and I find myself not wanting to. Wanting to sink into this funk threatening to take over.

Smith has a serious fracture and is laid up. He had to get screws put in his ankles, too. Poor Aubrey’s a mess. But since she has all that nursing experience and education, she’s been caring for him, helping him get around. And while he’s napping, she comes down and works the bar with me.

Aubrey quit her nursing job to work at the bar a few days before Smith’s accident. The addition of her to our staff was supposed to give us more time off, since we’d have another regular hand around here, including Asher, who’s back living in my apartment for the summer. But with Smith out of commission and Aubrey tied up most days, everything is falling on me and Asher to keep things running.

Despite Smith’s drugged-up state, he made me swear not to undermine any of the changes in the bar. Aubrey is already stressed out and doesn’t need to worry about me sabotaging them anymore. I grudgingly agreed on a truce for the time being.

Asher darts from table to table, grabbing old beer glasses, wiping them down. I watch him and my gaze meanders around. There are a few guys back in the corner playing darts, a new board Aubrey put up last week that’s already being put to good use. And the resurfaced pool tables look nice and clean. People are loving the quick appetizers and desserts we offer, lingering longer and buying more drinks.

I realize there hasn’t been a fight in the bar in weeks. Wow. We used to have them all the time. But things have been more chill. Not mellow—people are still loud and boisterous and having fun. But not angry the way it was before.

And oddly enough, I realize I’m glad. Because with all the shit I’m dealing with now, I don’t need to worry about that, too.

Not everything is cleaned up, though. We still have some rowdy