JAX (The Beckett Boys #2) - Olivia Chase Page 0,31
let me hear you!”
The whole place erupts. People flood to the bar to watch the spectacle, and I find my stomach sinking. This is the Jax he was when I first met him at the wedding rehearsal. Party animal, life of the room.
Flippant, uncaring about anything.
I slip out from behind the bar, through the boisterous crowd, and go back to my two friends. They’re staring at him in shock.
“He’s…” Dianna gives me a knowing look. “Has this gotten him out of your system, sweetie? He’s clearly not for you.”
My eyes suddenly sting with tears I’m fighting to not shed. She’s right. I know it, and my friends know it clear as day. Jax is crazy. He doesn’t have a serious bone in his body.
“Let’s go,” I tell her, fumbling under the table for my purse. I just need to leave. It was a stupid idea to come here. What did I think would happen, that he’d profess some sort of intimate feelings for me, a desire to date only me? I scoff at my stupidity. No, Jax is much more at home here…with the people who worship him. I’ll never be enough for him.
Jennifer gives me a hug and strokes my hair. “It’s fine, honey. Screw him. Besides, he’s not that hot, anyway.”
I pull back and give a sniffling laugh, wiping at my nose. She’s a terrible liar, but it’s sweet of her to try.
“He’ll just hurt you in the end,” Dianna adds, her tone taking on a motherly edge. “You’re better off ending it now before you get too deep.”
I nod. I know she’s right. I know it and I hate to admit it.
We make a beeline for the door. No one stops us. Doubtful Jax even notices I’m leaving. I tell myself I don’t care. I get in the car and drive away. Drop off my friends at their dorm across campus and park my car.
Make my way to my dark room, strip off my clothes and put on a tank top and shorts, and lie in bed for a good half hour, staring at the ceiling.
My phone buzzes.
I jump out of reflex and peer at the screen. There are a few missed text messages I didn’t hear while I was driving. All from Jax.
I don’t bother to open them. I delete every one without reading. My heart lurches, and I fight the sensation. I don’t care—it’s better this way. He’s wrong for me, and I knew it, yet I still let myself get tangled in him. Better to end it now before my heart gets shattered, as Dianna warned. Because I have a feeling he could break me apart. I’m already in danger of wanting too much from him—sexually and emotionally. Stupid, stupid. It’s more than clear that Jax will never be ready for that.
When my phone vibrates again with yet another incoming message, I shut it off and close my eyes, willing myself to fall asleep.
I exit my philosophy class and feel my phone buzzing again in my jeans pocket. That sick lurch overtakes my stomach. Is it Jax? After I didn’t reply to his messages from last night, he left me alone. To my relief and my disappointment, if I’m honest.
I’m not ready to talk to him though. I don’t even know what to say. If I try to explain, I’ll just sound like an idiot. Maybe the best way to handle this is to ghost out, just stop talking to him.
At least it’s Friday afternoon. I’ll hang on campus this weekend. Stick close to my dorm and study. God knows I could use the time. I’ve spent far too much time mooning over Jax already, distracted and unable to focus on my coursework. This should be the perfect impetus to get me back on track.
When I return to my room, I finally peek at my phone, ready to delete the message before reading it. But it wasn’t Jax texting me. It was my mom.
I smile and dial her number, wanting to hear her voice, not just message her. “Hi, Mom,” I say when she picks up.
“Brooklyn! I wasn’t expecting a call. What a nice surprise.” I can hear the warmth in her voice, and for a moment I feel homesick, my heart aching. Back in New York, things aren’t this complicated. Life is straightforward. I know what’s expected of me, who I am, what I want out of my life. But here, things have changed since I met Jax. He flipped everything upside down.