fingers across the blades, but I can hear voices off near the hotel entrance. I don’t know a lot of people here and I don’t want to embarrass myself.
My phone buzzes in my jacket pocket. I find a cement bench near the dark gazebo and sit down to peer at the screen. It’s a text from my sister Della.
How’s Aubrey? Is she gorgeous as usual? Send me shots, please! I’ve only seen what she’s posted on Facebook.
I smile. My sister really wanted to come in from upstate New York to the wedding, but since she couldn’t take off work for the event due to just starting there, she told me to keep her updated and send tons of pictures. I reply to Della with a few pictures I took of the happy couple at the reception dinner, then write, This hotel is PERFECT for a wedding. It’s going to be gorgeous with the budding flowers and the gazebo. Wish u were here, sis! How’s Cam?
A minute later, a picture of a drooling dark-haired toddler fills my screen, and I laugh. God, I love that kid—he’s a handful, to say the least. My sweet nephew has decided he likes chewing on table legs and even has the dog doing it now. Mom is stroking out and threatening to muzzle Cam, as you can imagine.
SEND HELP AND WINE, she texts beneath the pic.
That’s hilarious. I miss him, and u! I text back. See u guys in a few weeks for graduation—can’t believe it’s already here!!!
My phone buzzes again. I’m so excited, too! Oh shit, Cam’s eating something off the floor. Gotta go! XO
I laugh again and tuck my phone away. Despite the struggles that come along with being a single parent and just barely in her twenties, Della is getting herself together. She’s got a full-time job now working as a receptionist for a physical therapist’s office, and Cam’s in daycare. Living at home is giving her a chance to save up her money—her plan is to move out and get her own apartment in a year.
My parents were crushed when she confessed she was pregnant, with the daddy nowhere to be found after she told him he knocked her up. But our folks rallied behind her when she said she wanted to keep the child and insisted she move home to get back on her feet. During my school breaks over the last year since Cam was born, I road trip it home and cherish my time with them.
Sometimes, when she thinks no one is looking, I see Della eyeing Cam with the saddest eyes, and it shatters me to pieces. I know what she’s thinking. She should be doing this parenting thing with a partner and not needing her sister and parents to take his place.
Not that Della doesn’t love us—she does, fiercely, and she’s expressed her gratitude time and again to my parents and to me for our help. But it’s not the same as having a person by your side to navigate parenthood with.
Thinking about Della makes me think about her stupid ex, which makes me think about irresponsible men—and the guy I’m supposed to decorate the car with tonight. Right before dinner ended, I pulled Jax aside and asked him to meet me in an hour at Aubrey’s car. He blithely agreed, brushing me off with a wave of his hand, then went right back to talking to the cluster of women around him.
I linger outside for as long as I dare, enjoying the silence around me. There are only a couple of other people out here now, near the far entrance of the hotel, their voices little more than soft murmurs.
I really hope tomorrow goes well. Aubrey wanted me to sing, and despite my nerves, I agreed.
I clear my throat and whisper-sing the piece I chose, just to make sure my voice is ready and I have the song memorized, even though I’ve practiced it a hundred times over the last week. As I sing, the words fill me—a song about love, hope, forever.
A mental image of Smith from earlier, looking at Aubrey like she’s the center of the universe, makes the words trail off, and I go silent, my throat tight. Does that sort of love exist for everyone, or just for them?
Will it even last? Is he true?
I can’t help but hope yet again that he doesn’t break Aubrey’s heart the way my poor sister got hers crushed.