JAX (The Beckett Boys #2) - Olivia Chase Page 0,127

said.

“I don’t understand.”

“It’s everything. It’s the way your parents treat me. It’s the fact that they invited Jenna up here and intentionally left me off the invitation. It’s the fact that they think they can just shove me aside, and you just…you just let them. You didn’t even say anything in my defense. Not even when they gave me that stupid bunk bed room.”

Jacob lifted his eyebrows, but remained quiet for a moment, parsing my words. He finally said, “I know. It’s shitty of them. It really is.”

“Then why let them treat me that way?”

“They’re my parents, Sasha,” Jacob said, shrugging. “That’s just how they are. They’re not bad people, they just say stupid stuff sometimes.”

“But they’re saying stupid stuff to me, is my point. Are we serious, Jacob? Am I important to you?”

“You know you are.”

“Then that means you’re letting them treat someone you could be with for a long, long time like shit…just so you don’t have to get into an argument with them.”

“That’s not fair,” Jacob said. “I’m not letting them— I’m just not going to get in a fight with them over it.”

I felt my brows knit in hurt. “Same thing! You’re letting them treat me like I’m disposable, and…between that and other stuff…I’m starting to wonder if maybe I am.”

Jacob looked shocked. “Wait, what? What other stuff are you talking about?”

“You rushed out the door the morning after we had sex the first time. You only came back for me after your injury. And I can’t help but wonder if it was just…I mean, you knew I wasn’t into football, so I was a safe bet, right? I’d have sex with you and not hassle you about the game, because it didn’t matter to me the way it mattered to all your other girls—“

“Sasha—“

“And now that you’re getting back into playing, I feel more and more like you’re shuffling me off to the side.”

“I’m not. I’m not at all. I’m just trying to focus on my career. Just like you and your classes,” Jacob attempted.

“I know, I know it’s important to you. I’m not saying I need you to put me before football. I would never ask you to do that. I’m just saying that maybe…maybe the reason you were such a player is because there’s just not room for a girlfriend and football in your life. Especially not a girlfriend like me. Maybe that’s why everyone wants you and Jenna to be together. You two connect like little puzzle pieces. I’m like some part from a different game entirely.”

Jacob took my hand in both of his, encapsulating it. “I don’t want Jenna. She doesn’t want me. We’re friends.”

“That’s not the point, Jacob,” I said, shaking my head. “The only way I’m confident about our relationship surviving is if you stay injured. And that’s awful— that’s a terrible reason for a relationship to work out.”

“Sasha, all relationships are a risk. We can’t quit just because you’re nervous,” Jacob said.

“That’s not it— it’s the fact that you aren’t,” I said, shaking my head. “I’m a sure thing for you. Everyone’s a sure thing for you. And I don’t think I like being that. I don’t like that you let your parents talk to me that way, because you weren’t worried about me leaving. I don’t like that you aren’t worried about ignoring me when football comes up, because you aren’t worried about me leaving. I want you, Jacob, but…you come with a lot that I don’t want.”

Jacob looked stunned. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that I think I need some time apart. To figure out what it is I do want. And for you to figure out who is really compatible with what you want.”

“I want you, Sasha,” he said, almost frantic, like he was talking me down from a cliff.

I blinked back tears, unsure when they’d started filling my eyes. “I know. I want you too. But I just don’t think it’s going to work right now, okay?”

“I…” Jacob shook his head, shock in every line of his face. “I don’t know what to say.”

I sniffled tearfully. “Good luck at Clemson.”

“Sasha—“

“I should go now. I’ll ask Jenna to give me a ride home.”

I prayed that this would be the moment he realized what was really at stake, what really mattered. I begged him silently to prove me right, to show me that he would fight for me right now, when I needed him most.

Just fight for me like you fight for everything else you care