As my eyes shifted, they snagged upon the drive, a ribbon of heather within the slate, and I thought of Charles Thornfield.
Indeed, once my mind latched upon him, I stood for several more minutes, wondering what business my mortal enemy had that would take him away from his clearly beloved ward; I at last collapsed, worn to a bone shard, upon my deceased aunt Patience’s feather bed.
FIFTEEN
It is a very strange sensation to inexperienced youth to feel itself quite alone in the world: cut adrift from every connection; uncertain whether the port to which it is bound can be reached, and prevented by many impediments from returning to that it has quitted.
I have no doubt but that you will find your way,” Mr. Singh assured me, pouring a cup of clove-scented tea at the kitchen table. “We cannot be what you expected to find.”
The December morning had been frigid, a pristine lace veil draped bridelike over the grounds. Sahjara had met me before the stables, wearing her riding habit, raven’s-feather eyes gleaming. Her enthusiasm for equestrianism was no hardship—I felt pure satisfaction when I tugged back the familiar wooden gate, splinter prone and rust smelling, and entered the stable. After Sahjara gathered that horses were neither averse to me nor I to them, she blithely wondered did I always look so happy when I stood beside a stallion’s muzzle, smiling at its single visible eye?
The answer was yes, of course, but then Sahjara departed to work with her riding coach, and I rendezvoused with Mr. Singh in the kitchen only to behold the entire domestic staff.
Agatha, I thought, suppressing a fresh gush of panic despite assurances the household was entirely foreign. She would say nothing, surely—she would never betray my confidence, once she learnt I meant to claim what’s mine.
Agatha, however, was nowhere to be seen.
“I hope meeting us all at once was not too terribly overwhelming.” In the satiny winter light of midday, I realised that Mr. Singh was younger than I had supposed; he could not have exceeded Mr. Thornfield’s five and thirty. The beard framing his mouth lent the impression he was always mildly smiling or lightly frowning, both somehow solicitous expressions.
“Oh, no.” Sipping my tea too soon, I scalded my tongue. “It was lovely.”
It was not; I was wholly ignorant of how governesses are expected to behave. We had been groomed for the profession at Lowan Bridge: so was my first step to steal food, tell lies, or thrust a letter opener into someone’s gullet?
“They were gratified by your open nature, fearing a traditionalist. You already seem quite at ease with Sahjara. I don’t suppose I need tell you she is beloved by us all.”
I smiled, shaking my head. I had now formally been introduced to Mrs. Garima Kaur, the housekeeper with the terrible white mark on her brow, who indeed spoke scant English but listened with such care it hardly mattered; Mrs. Jas Kaur, the cook; and eight additional Singhs and Kaurs, the remaining house servants and grooms, all of whom fascinated and overwhelmed in equal measure.
During some confusion I gathered had to do with the cellar workmen, Mrs. Garima Kaur leant into my face as if consulting a mirror and murmured, “Quiet. Afraid?”
“Why would—no,” I stammered. “Only anxious.”
Garima Kaur was a gaunt woman with severely stark bone structure, her cheeks hollow beneath dark eyes so deeply set one could not help but see the skull beneath. Without the silvery streak across her brow, and with a stone more flesh on her skeleton, she might have been beautiful—as it was, she was only striking. She stared straight into my mind, or so it felt.
She cocked her head, the scar glinting at the same instant as an unreadable smile. “Mr. Sardar Singh—good. Nothing bad. You, how in English?”
I had no notion.
“Safe. Mr. Singh. Do not worry, do not worry,” she repeated, using a phrase she must have just learnt.
It might have been dreadfully alarming, save that it was not; butlers have the run of every estate, and to be assured by the housekeeper that ours would not infringe upon my virtue was rather companionable.
“I won’t worry,” I assured her, touching her sleeve, and I noted she wore no wedding ring. It was common practice for housekeepers to go by Mrs. without husbands, however, as a token of respect. “You are unmarried, then, Mrs. Kaur?”
Her lips pursed. “Yes, Miss Stone. You?”
“I can’t think of anyone who would marry me,” I joked, and Mr.