Jake (California Dreamy) - By Rian Kelley Page 0,64

wrapped her arm around his waist and drifted back to sleep.

Chapter Nineteen

When Ivy woke, Jake was gone. He had saved what he could of the food, placing the fruit and cheese in the refrigerator and dumping the omelettes in the trash. She sat on the edge of the bed and wondered about Jake’s disappearance. He’d had a bad dream. He’d spoken to her about military life. He’d told her he could promise her nothing. But that was not true. He could promise his love, if not his longevity. He could promise his protection, if not be at her side every day.

She thought about the long term with Jake. Marriage. Kids. Because, yes, she wanted it all. She wanted it with Jake. She wanted a son who shared his features and a daughter who spoke with his confidence. And if he, like her father, one day never returned—could she do that to her children?

It had devastated Ivy. But her father had left voluntarily. He had run from his responsibilities. That wasn’t Jake and that wasn’t their situation.

But the rigorous honesty with which she lived her life demanded that she acknowledge the sting in her heart when she thought about the if –if her children became fatherless.

It would hurt. But it would hurt no matter how Jake was taken from their lives. People died every day. She could marry a plumber who died in a fishing accident. Or a doctor who was

killed in a car crash. These things happened.

She felt uneasy about it, but anyone would, right?

She was still contemplating a future with Jake, knowing she couldn’t bear to think about there not being one, when she heard a key slide into the lock at the front door. She hadn’t given him a set, but knew it could be no one else.

She stood, adjusting the robe around her shoulders, and waited for him to enter.

He was carrying a sack of food from Tio’s. His jaw was covered in five o’clock shadow and his eyes were reflective. He had pulled inside himself. They were back to an uneasy distance.

“The omelettes weren’t salvageable,” he explained. “And you’re starving.”

She was. It’d probably been a good ten hours since she’d eaten.

“You’re good at taking care of me.” She smiled.

“When I can,” he said.

“And when you can’t I can do it myself.”

He nodded, but she could tell that he didn’t like it. “Don’t distract me,” he said, but he came toward her and dropped a light kiss on her lips. “You’re eating this time.”

“And then maybe we could go for a run?” They needed a change of scenery. And to expend some energy in a way that didn’t include ripping off each other’s clothes.

But he was wearing jeans and a t-shirt and they hadn’t yet gotten to the point of leaving

their things at each other’s place. But he said, “I have some workout gear in my truck.”

“Always prepared,” she remembered, “but no Boy Scout.” Was it really only eight days ago that they had met on the side of the freeway?

He remembered, too. “My life isn’t that simple.”

“I know.” She took the bag from his hands and walked to the table. “There’s some bottled water in the fridge,” she said.

She sat down and waited for him to get to the table.

“I’m going to clear the air and then we’re going to move on. Okay? Because it’s really hard for me to wallow in the silences.” She didn’t wait for him to agree. “Yes, you’re in a risky profession. You go off to war with guns and get shot at. But so do police officers. Firemen and any type of first responder have a tough job that spills over into their personal lives. No, I don’t want my children to lose their father. It devastated me. It’s an ache that can still sneak up on me sometimes, but that’s because he chose to leave. A totally different set of circumstances. Still, it bothers me to think about it concerning our children. I don’t know how I’ll deal with the worry—you’re right no one can know it until they live it. But I want that chance.”

There. She’d bared her heart. She’d put it all out there and he could mull it over at his own pace. But at least she’d said it. And now they could move on. She opened the bag and pulled out several containers.

“What did you bring me?” She peered at him over the bag, and only then realized that Jake was stunned silent. His eyes