Jack Kerouac is Dead to Me - Gae Polisner Page 0,20

out. The Glass Menagerie, it was called, about this girl Laura who has a really bad limp from some disease she had as a child. So, she’s basically a recluse, and all she does is listen to old records and play with her prized collection of glass animals.

Max had immediately volunteered to read the part of Tom, Laura’s brother, who works in a factory but dreams of being a poet. Raj Thakur was reading for Jim, a work friend of Tom’s who comes for dinner and who the mother, Amanda, hopes will fall in love with Laura. At first you think there’s no way he will, and anyway Amanda keeps flirting with him, but the two of them do actually go to Laura’s room, and they hit it off, and even end up slow dancing, but it turns out Jim is engaged and the whole thing only gets sadder from there.

Anyway, when Hankins announced we’d be reading the play aloud in class, I was shocked when Max volunteered to read for Tom. Like everyone else, I figured Max Gordon was in class because he thought he could fly under the radar in some mindless elective. But it was the opposite. Max would volunteer to read aloud for every play, every sonnet, and he seemed to know half of them by heart. And when I got picked to read for Laura, well, that was in February, and after that, everything between Max and me had escalated.

But now Max stands in my living room ogling my mom, and he’s picked up the book, and they’re suddenly going on about Kerouac and how brilliant he was, and so Max seems way more Jim than Tom Wingfield, and all I want is for my mother to shut up, and Max to go home, and this whole nightmare with my mother to be over.

Part II

The courtship dances of some male butterflies

may appear aggressive, but they are merely intended

to drive competitors away.

MID-MAY

TENTH GRADE

The last of the late buses pulls out of the circle revealing no Max, no dirt bike, just a vacant front lot with the sun flooding down onto the concrete, bleaching its already-faded gray to near bone white. Only the ring of baby poplars the school’s Sierra Club planted last year on the center mound offers any shade, casting shadows onto the white, an occasional breeze making their leaves rustle up and dance, before falling still.

I walk to the stone wall where I always sit to wait for him, and peel off my sweater and drape it across my bare thighs, letting the warmth spread down my shoulders and back. It’s seriously hot for this time of year, at least in this unshaded spot.

I glance at my phone, but there are no texts. It’s almost 3:00 p.m. Max should have been here ten minutes ago. Sometimes I get tired of feeling like he forgets I’m alone here, friendless, waiting on him.

Or maybe it’s better that he’s late, leaving the school grounds mostly empty, and fewer people to witness his public displays of affection.

The heavy steel doors burst open releasing the cavernous darkness of inside into the sunlight. Probably a lingering teacher, still gung ho on being present and available after school, even though all the clubs are basically over.

My stomach sinks when Aubrey walks out with Meghan and Niccole. They’re huddled together talking and laughing like co-conspirators.

That used to be us.

If they short-cut to the exit, they’ll keep their distance, but if they stay with the curve of the walkway, Aubrey will pass right in front of me.

She doesn’t turn, but I know she sees me. Maybe I’ll call out, be the one to break the rules of whatever this dumb game is we’ve been playing. Try to be friendly. After all, it’s partly my fault, all this weird distance between us. I’ve been too caught up with my own stuff—Mom and Max and everything. And my feelings were hurt when Aubrey first started spending more time with those girls and ditched our planned spring elective schedule to have more classes with them than me. And not just Hankins’ class, but Forensics instead of Environmental Studies. Suddenly they all had five classes together and Aubrey and I only had two. Both of which those girls are also in. So, I backed away, latched on to Max. Maybe more than I should have.

“Hey, Aubs!” I call softly, before I can overthink it. But they’re already past me, veering off the path, and by the time

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