with all the care and affection a mother gives her child. His mirth grew at the serious nature in which she gave her performance, giving no heed to the ludicrous behavior she was exhibiting. It was only when he was well and truly laughing that Miss Barrows gave up her charade, her beaming smile matching his.
“You are truly ridiculous, Miss Barrows,” he said.
“Thank you for your kind words, Mr. Finch,” she replied, accepting his statement as the compliment he’d intended. Stepping closer, Miss Barrows brushed off the remnant snow from his shoulders and placed the hat on his head.
The innocent movement drew them close, her skirts brushing across the tips of his boots. What had begun in jest shifted, the world quieting around them as Finch held her brown eyes. They were quite magnificent and shone with the brightness of her loving heart. The finest eyes he’d ever seen.
Miss Barrows was like the winter sun. That joy and laughter glowed from within, chasing away the gloom of the world and casting it in a golden hue. Even her hair was fiery and bright, matching the lady in a manner that no brunette or blonde could manage. Her curls fought against the pins and ribbons adorning them, and Finch’s fingers itched to twist one of those unruly locks and see if it was as soft as its mistress.
Where had his friend gone? And when had this lovely creature replaced her?
Finch’s gaze dropped to her lips, and they tugged at him like a magnet, drawing him in with blissful promises as though one touch might fill him with the same brightness. His breath caught in his lungs, and Finch stared at her, realizing how desperately he longed to kiss her. His heart whispered to him that the joy Miss Barrows spoke of would be found there. With her.
Shifting closer, Finch drew near enough to feel her breath tickling his cheeks; her eyes widened, but the curl of her lips told him it was not from fear. Her lids slid closed, and she stilled, waiting for him to close the distance. To…claim her as his own?
Finch’s stomach wrenched, his heartbeat stilling as frost stole across his skin. His throat closed on him, and though he ought to move away, his feet were fixed to the ground. Finch’s lungs screamed as he realized he wasn’t breathing.
Lewis Finch could not afford to marry and never would. He’d known that from the moment his father had sentenced him to this life of eternal bachelorhood, and yet here he’d raised the hopes of a dear lady. Giving her reason to believe him free to court her.
Thoughts racing, Finch tried to calculate some manner in which he could pursue this. But even if they moved to the country, his meager funds would not support them. His professional options had only dwindled with time, and even if he were to begin again tomorrow, it would take years for him to gain enough of a position to afford a family, assuming he could; many younger sons remained unmarried for just such a reason.
Finch knew this. He’d spent years thinking this through, and he’d known that truth. Accepted it. Until Miss Barrows had appeared. And now, both of their hearts were at risk because he’d been too selfish to keep his distance.
“I must return to Avebury Park,” he said, forcing his feet away from her.
Miss Barrows’ eyes snapped open, her brows raising as she stared at him. “Pardon?”
“I promised Mr. Kingsley I would assist him with some business this afternoon, and it slipped my mind.” The lie came quickly to his lips, and Finch moved back the way they’d come.
“Oh,” she murmured, drawing her hands beneath her cloak and casting her gaze to the ground.
Finch’s chest squeezed at the sight of her dejected posture, and his feet nearly carried him back to her side. But distance was best.
“I do apologize…” he whispered, his throat seizing against the words. Finch stared at her, warring between the need to flee and the need to comfort her. To make her smile once more as she had done for him. “I…”
But what could he do? Better to break her heart a little now than ruin her future, and the best he had to offer her was a clean break. So, like a coward, he turned heel and fled. Finch felt her gaze on his back, burning holes through his jacket, and he pled for absolution.
Chapter 21
Standing on the cobblestones, Felicity gazed up at the church