It's A Wonderful Midlife Crisis (Good To The Last Death #1) - Robyn Peterman Page 0,58

face and then being shaken so hard my brain rattles.”

“You wouldn’t wake up,” Gideon said, easing his huge frame off of me and touching his nose gingerly. “I thought you were dead.”

I felt the loss of his body heat acutely. I didn’t like that he’d moved away. What was wrong with me? He’d just smacked me in the face and shook me like I was a human-sized gin and tonic. I’d broken his nose for God’s sake, and I was upset that he wasn’t on top of me anymore?

I’m an idiot.

“If you kept shaking me, I might have gone there,” I said, getting up off the couch and avoiding him studiously. “Let me get you some ice for your nose. I’m really sorry about that.”

“Are you?” he inquired with a raised brow and a lopsided grin that made me tingle all over.

“Actually, no,” I told him with a laugh. “If you ever try to wake me up like that again—not that you’ll ever have the opportunity—I’ll do far worse.”

“Good to know,” Gideon replied. “I’ll keep that in mind the next time I find you in a coma.”

I rolled my eyes and practically ran to the kitchen. I’d just punched the Grim Reaper in the face and lived. How had my existence come to this?

Quickly putting ice into an ice bag, I paused and then groaned. Could Gideon see my dead friends? Could he randomly send them to the darkness to punish me for rearranging his face?

“Shit, this could be bad,” I muttered, trying to figure out what to do.

He didn’t seem too angry about me breaking his nose—there wasn’t even any blood. Maybe it was just a little bit broken. Could a nose get sprained? Crap. I couldn’t even look it up. My phone was in the family room.

I had no clue I was strong enough to break anything. Violence had never been my go-to before five minutes ago. I was normally very mild-tempered and nice. However, I wasn’t sure what the rules were in this new game that I was being forced to play and couldn’t take any chances with my ghosts

“You,” I whispered urgently to a dead guy who was hovering over my head. “Get everyone into the kitchen now. Be casual about it just in case the man out there can see you. Can you do that?”

He nodded and zipped out of the room. I had to warn my people. They needed to leave. Now. If Gideon was as evil as the Grim Reaper was supposed to be, bad things could happen to my squatters.

I waited for three minutes. Not one freaking ghost joined me in the kitchen—not even John. Had Gideon already banished my dead guests to the darkness? If he had, I would break his jaw with my next punch—or at least sprain it. None of my decomposing buddies had had their problems solved yet. He had no right to horn in on my territory. Was his visit to my house planned with evil intent? It had to have been.

My squatters liked me… or I thought they did. I mean, they seemed happy here. I glued them back together and let them watch crappy reality TV.

Not to mention, I’d gone mind-diving twice already and almost died. I’d even committed a freaking misdemeanor. What else did they want from me?

“Did you fall into the freezer?” Gideon called out.

“Be right there,” I yelled back, giving my ghosts one more minute until I went out there and let the Grim Reaper know that I was the boss in my house.

Sixty seconds went by. My stomach was in knots. I didn’t exactly want to be living with dead people, but I didn’t want anyone to hurt them either. They were dead, for the love of everything unholy. They’d already been through enough.

Throwing my shoulders back and getting ready to bargain with the devil—or rather, the Grim Reaper—I marched back into the family room. Gideon wasn’t going to know what hit him. My lady balls were enormous and I was about to use them.

“What the hell?” I shouted, dropping the ice bag and glaring in disbelief at the scene in front of me.

My deceased squatters were complete traitors. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Did the idiots have any clue who they were fawning over?

The dead women were utterly ridiculous and embarrassingly lewd—fighting and shoving each other out of the way to get close to the asshole with the broken nose. They fluttered about, giggling and vying for his