It's a Wonderful Death - Sarah J. Schmitt Page 0,47

what you asked. You asked if I was proud of you. Not then. But the girl you are, the woman you are on your way to becoming, that is who you were meant to be. Not some carbon copy of her friends. And definitely not someone who makes herself feel better by making others feel worse. You are meant to be an original, like you are now.”

I sniff back the tears. “Why didn’t you say something? I would have changed if you had called me out. I always wanted you to be proud of me.”

She pulls herself up and I hear her knees creak. “Curse of the form I chose to see you in,” she says with a wry laugh. “The old ailments come with the look. But don’t worry. It just sounds bad. I don’t feel a thing.”

My smile is weak, but at least I can manage one. “I didn’t mean to be a disappointment,” I say, looking up at her, pleading with my eyes for forgiveness. “I guess I just got so caught up with being popular. I think, somehow, I lost myself.”

“That’s the wonderful thing about losing something. You can always find it again if you look hard enough.”

What is it about Grams’s wisdom? It’s brutal and honest, all the while filling me with hope.

“A moment ago you asked why I didn’t say something to you,” she says. “Maybe I should have. I hoped you would find your way on your own because you knew it was the right thing to do, not because you wanted to make me happy.”

I know exactly what she’s saying. And she’s right. I would have done anything she told me to do. “You know,” I say, forcing my smile, “I am the original. Everyone else was the copy.”

“So true,” she says, tapping me lightly on the cheek.

A comfortable silence falls between us, but I know it can’t last forever. “I still have one more ghost from my past to deal with, don’t I?”

She nods. “I’m not sure where she is, though. It’s not like her to be late.”

“You know her?” I say in surprise.

Grams grins. “Oh sure. Everybody knows everyone around here. There are no strangers in Heaven.”

“So you did go to Heaven,” I tease. “Is Grandpa there, too?”

Her smile grows wide and it looks like the wrinkles on her aged face fade away. “If he wasn’t, do you think I would be?” The air around us begins to turn a stunning shade of yellow. The soft hues cast a glow over us like the early rays of sunrise. “Looks like she’s here,” Grams adds, turning to leave. I reach out and hold on to her arm.

“Wait. Don’t go yet. I’m not sure I can do this.”

She turns back and rushes to my side, kneeling before me. “My dear, you have no idea how capable you are. You can do this.” In her eyes I see another look of pride and I realize that, before today, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen that look directed at me.

I feel the tears falling again and I reach up to touch her cheek. “I love you.”

Now there is sadness in her eyes. “I love you, too, Rowena Joy. But this test will end soon and with any luck, the Tribunal will see fit to send you back to finish your journey on Earth.” She looks off in the distance. “I can’t stay any longer. They’ll come looking for me soon.” She lovingly removes my hand, placing it gently in my lap. “We will see each other when the time is right, and while it will not be soon enough, I will always love you. Remember that.”

Tears are falling even faster now and I close my eyes to hold them back. When I open them, Grams is gone and standing in her place is a girl about my age. I know her. Not in a you-look-familiar kind of way. I actually know her. In fact, I saw her a few days before my ill-fated trip to see the gypsy. The last time I saw her was the day she died.

Chapter 19

“Madeline?” I ask hesitantly. “Is that you?”

I expect her to rip off my head for what my friends and I did, but instead she smiles and rushes up to me. “RJ, I’m so happy to see you!” she cries and wraps her arms, not her hands, around my neck. Shock paralyzes me. “How are you?” she squeals. “I couldn’t believe it when Death