circled me on this crazy day and landed like a gentle forehead kiss, soothing a small part of my aching heart.
“Dad didn’t abandon us?”
She shook her head.
“And I didn’t ruin your life?”
“Goodness, no! Do you really think that?”
“I have pretty much forever, yeah. You always talked about life before me with so much enthusiasm.”
“Of course I did. It was exhilarating, traveling the world, feeling like I was fighting for the good of the people. But it also paled in comparison to being your mom. Some women might look down on me for that. That’s okay because I’m not living for them. I’m living for us.”
My brain tripped over the information as my worldview shattered and crumbled. If there wasn’t a family curse, then it wasn’t to blame for Joe’s assholery.
He was.
The warm fuzzies from Mom’s admission crashed to the ground. Dad may not have left us in a huff, but Joe still proved he wasn’t the guy I thought he was.
Or rather, he proved my first impressions correct. He was an asshole. A villain. A loyal denizen of Hell sent to ruin me.
“I love you, Mom.” I shook my head as I remembered the rage ticking in Joe’s jaw. With each passing moment, anger replaced my sorrow. Who the hell did he think he was?
“I love you too, Kiki. I always will. Now, tell me everything that happened to make a wonderful man say such awful things.”
I explained Joe’s childhood and my idea for the surprise party. “I met up with his brother in secret to plan everything. Joe found out and thought I was cheating on him.”
“That seems extreme.”
“Right?” I bobbed my head in enthusiastic agreement. “He has trust issues. And it doesn’t help matters that his brother is Collin West.”
Mom’s eyebrows launched into orbit. “The Collin West? As in the Collin freaking West you swore would be the only man you’d marry?”
I grimaced. “That’s the one.”
“Does Joe know how you felt about Collin?”
“Yeah, but he should also know how I feel about him.” I sighed heavily. “I could have told him about the party and solved everything, but then he went ballistic and got mean. So instead of clearing things up, I walked away. He had no right to talk to me like that.”
Mom wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me close. “I’m sorry he proved to be the asshole you always thought he was, but it’s really important you understand you’re not cursed. Just because this guy wasn’t the right one, doesn’t mean there isn’t a right one out there.”
“I thought Joe might be it. I guess it’s better I figured out I was wrong now rather than later.”
For as much as I wanted that statement to make me feel strong, it brought a new rush of tears rolling down my face instead.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Joe
Without projects to work on or Kennedy to distract me, time was excruciating. Three days went by, each one a reminder of how good life was just last week, and how quickly it all went to shit.
Everything in the guesthouse reminded me of her. The bed. The kitchen. The fucking pictures of Collin on my wall.
I took them down.
It didn’t help.
I stared at the spots they used to occupy, wondering about the man I called my brother when the rest of the world knew us as friends. How could he make a move on the one woman I thought I could love?
I dropped my head into my hands. I didn’t just think I could love her. I did love her. That was the messed-up part. Somewhere along the way, I fell in love with Her Royal Majesty, Kennedy Reagan Monroe. Without even realizing it happened, I started imagining us with a future together, creating everything I missed out on when I was a kid. The feeling of tribe. Of family.
Of belonging.
I thought I found it with Collin, yet, even he betrayed me the first chance he got.
My rage wanted to settle on that and burn him out of my heart, but the flame wouldn’t stay lit.
No matter how hard I tried to make sense of things, nothing added up.
Collin loved Harlow with everything he was.
And deep down, I knew he loved me, no matter how much I bitched and grumbled otherwise. A voice in my subconscious whispered that I’d made a terrible mistake. I brushed it away.
“What’s done is done,” I muttered, then loosed a humorless laugh.
With my heart finally as black as my boots, I wandered into Maxine’s kitchen, hoping to