across my mouth. “I let someone in, give them access to everything I have, and they move on to someone else because no matter what I do, I’m just not enough.”
Kennedy’s lips formed a grim line. “I can’t speak to what’s happened in the past, but that’s not what’s happening now. Not in any way.”
“Oh, yeah? Then what, pray tell, is happening now, other than you proving to be the bitch I thought you were when we first met?”
She closed her eyes and huffed a breath. Shook her head, then sucked in her lips. Tears glimmered but didn’t fall and she shifted her weight as she looked anywhere but at me.
The pain in her face was satisfying on such a deep level, I’d hate myself for it once I calmed down.
If I calmed down.
“You want to know what’s happening?” she almost whispered. “I’m leaving. That’s what’s happening.” Her voice cracked as she turned, her shoulders shaking as she ran her hands into that dirty penny hair and walked away.
“Good fucking riddance!” I shouted, then stalked into the guesthouse and slammed the door.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Kennedy
Tears poured down my face as I beelined out of the backyard. My vision warbled and warped, and I swiped them away, banging my shin against the bumper of Joe’s truck in the process.
“Asshole!”
I slapped the hood of the monstrosity, stopping to hang my head. To breathe deep. To will away the tears and gain enough control to trust myself behind the wheel. After a few seconds, I climbed into my car, glancing toward the back of the house.
I counted to ten, waiting for Joe to come after me.
To stop me before I left.
To apologize and give me a chance to explain. And then grovel for forgiveness once he understood how wrong he had things. What a genuine asshole he’d been.
A minute passed. Another.
No Joe.
Swallowing around a giant lump, I put the car in gear. The Honda bumped out of the driveway and I was halfway to my apartment before I remembered I never replaced my furniture. Living at Nan’s had been so convenient, with Joe right there in the guesthouse. I didn’t have to squeeze him into my precious free time between jobs. He was just there. Close. And I liked it that way. I hadn’t been in a big rush to buy furniture, because I hadn’t been in a big rush to move out.
Sitting alone in an empty apartment sounded like the saddest way to end a bad day, which brought a fresh round of tears to my eyes. I pulled to the side of the road and leaned my head on the steering wheel as I contemplated my options.
Couldn’t go to Nan’s. Joe was there.
Couldn’t go home. No furniture.
Couldn’t go to work. I didn’t have a job anymore.
Couldn’t call a friend. I didn’t really have any.
I was in the process of redefining rock bottom. If you pulled up the Wikipedia entry, my tear-stained face would be right there waiting.
“This is what I get for planning a surprise party for a man with trust issues.”
I wanted the absurdity of the situation to make me laugh. To calm me down so I could think clearly and figure out what I wanted to do next.
Instead, my heart cracked wide open.
After reaching out to Collin about the party, I’d prepared myself to battle Joe’s suspicions. I was a terrible liar. The chances of me pulling off a surprise were slim. But calling me a bitch? Insinuating I was selfish and awful? Jumping to conclusions without hearing my side of the story? I wasn’t prepared for him to go that far.
Though, that did seem to be the name of the game for the day.
First Mira, then Joe.
Was I that untrustworthy? Or was I just doomed by the family curse of bad relationships? Grandma Rosey’s husband left her for another woman after she got pregnant. Mom quit her dream job so Dad could go back to his.
Now me. Falling for an emotionally unavailable man who went on the attack because I wanted to make him feel as special as he made me feel.
It was so absurd I didn’t know what to do with myself other than give in to the pain and cry.
A knock on the window nearly stopped my heart. I looked up to find a sweet-faced older man peering at me. His fuzzy eyebrows drew together as I rolled down the window.
“I’m sorry to bother you,” he said as a golden retriever wagged a shaggy tail beside him. “And