you know me or something.” She quirked her head. “Now when did that happen?”
I could tell her I paid attention to the things that mattered and that somewhere along the way, she started to fit that description. I could explain that once I cared about someone, I went out of my way to understand what made them tick. I could tell her those things, but that would spell disaster for both of us.
I returned my attention to the pile in front of me. “Who’s to say it did?”
We finished the day, side by side, sharing treasures as we discovered them. For Kennedy, it seemed like getting to know her grandfather all over again. For me, it was getting to know more about her. What she valued. How she looked when love lit her face. What mattered to her. The day was a primer in intimacy and my head spun with it all.
Being intimate wasn’t my cup of tea.
It led to vulnerability and that never ended well.
“Are you adopted?”
The question sent the air out of my lungs like a right hook to the face. Or a shoulder slamming the ground. Or Kennedy’s tongue darting out to lick her lips. “Why would you ask that?”
Her eyes searched mine. “Just had a bunch of things click into place. And I know this is super personal, but I spewed my story about my dad to you, so you owe me a story in return.”
“That’s not how it works. You can’t accidentally share a thing and then come to collect something in return. Imagine if banks worked that way. Here, have a dollar, now give me your retirement.”
She laughed, her cheeks pinking, her eyes flashing, her lips begging me to touch them. “I’m right, though. You’re adopted.” Her voice was soft. Gentle to the point of breaking me.
My jaw literally clenched to prevent words from escaping. I mentally pried it apart. “I was raised in foster care.”
“And it wasn’t a good experience?”
It was the worst experience. It was growing up on a battlefield where I questioned everything. While foster care was a miracle for lots of kids, the people raising me weren’t doing it because they loved me. They took me because they had a hole in their heart they thought I might fill. (Spoiler: I didn’t.) Or because they needed the money. (Spoiler: money can’t buy love.)
I shook my head as I tried to sum up my childhood. “I’m stronger for it.”
“Is that why you’re against me calling the Department of Children and Families about Shane?”
“I’m only against it while you don’t have the full story. I was safer in foster care than I was on my own. But only marginally.”
“Your brother….” She jerked her head toward the pictures.
“He’s not my biological brother. Not even my adoptive brother. We landed in the same foster family. We grew up together and our bond is forged through shared experience. I’ve protected him since we were kids. Spent most of my twenties protecting him. He’s safe now.”
I literally squeezed my eyes shut, my lips pressed together as I rubbed a hand over my mouth. I didn’t talk about my past. Those stories didn’t deserve more time in the world than they’d already been given. If I could, I’d rip them out of my head and swallow them whole so I could shit them out and be done with them once and for all.
Kennedy patted my hand. “It’s okay. You don’t have to talk to me.” She scooted closer, our shoulders kissing, then leaned her head against mine. “But I’m a good listener. If you ever decide you want to.”
The scent of lilacs surrounded me, heady, strong, her. Dizzy with it, I breathed even deeper, welcoming the rush of lust that burned through the ache in my heart. She stilled, as if she could sense me struggling, a rabbit frozen in fear as the wolf stalked into view. Embarrassed, I pulled away.
She straightened, her blue eyes locked on mine and damn it, I didn’t see fear.
I saw excitement.
She was no rabbit and I was no wolf. We were man and woman, and our combative chemistry would be the end of us.
Her hand came to my cheek. Her thumb grazed the stubble along my jaw. If our lips came together—and at that point, there was no doubt they would—I’d kiss her until she couldn’t breathe. I’d memorize her taste and the rhythm of her heart, my tongue dipping out to meet hers as my body throbbed with want.